Shopping Day

P was hosting a Diplomacy gaming day at the house today. I decided to take V out to burn off some energy and do some shopping.

We left the house (and skipped church.. :( around 10:30 and drove 20 minutes to Babies R us. I am looking for a new lunchsack/box, etc for Vi. Hers is yucky looking on the oustide. We walked around and V played with all the toys. I didn't think their sales or clearance were very good. We bought nothing.

Then we went to Costco. I love Costco. The only person that loves Costco more is my mother who is a rabid fan of Sam's Club. When I took her to Costco, she was in heaven. Anyway, it was super crowded in there, but they are so fast at the checkouts. I spent more than I wanted to because I had to renew my membership ($50!!!). I bought these applesauce squeeze packets (no added sugar and organic) that V loves, frozen shrimp, frozen "Naked Nuggets", bananas, Columbuis lunchmeat, mozarella cheese and an exercise shirt for me. We sat and ate lunch there - 2 hotdogs (mine minus the bun) and two sodas for $3. I let V have a little Sprite and she loved it.

We then drove back and stopped at Old Navy because I heard their clearance was 30% off. V was terrible in the store, running around and shreiking. I bought her one little T shirt and that was all. Nothing for myself.

Next store was a Famous Footwear. It's not a place I would ordinarily shop since they carry most of the same brands as Kohls. I ended up breaking down buying V the pair of light up shoes that I thought were so adorable on all the little girls in Florida. They were waaayyyy more that I would usually spend, but still $10 off the norm. She loved them and carried them up to the counter and everything. Here they are!

This morning

I went to the Prothodontist for the next step in my treatment. The appointment went like this.

I got two shots of novocaine, which were the easiest I've had, but it did not feel like my mouth was numb at all. Sometimes older dentists are more experienced with this stuff. Then he took this curved scalpel and cut/dug each implant out under the skin (this did not hurt, and the asst was good at sucking up all the blood so I didn't taste it). Then he unscrewed the implant caps (which felt weird, and my implants started throbbing and hurting). It felt like someone was unscrewing something down deep in your chin bone. Then I bit on two different wax bites, then a model thing was attached to my ears ( to articulate my bite). He screwed in these really long posts into each implant (I was in throbbing pain by then) and put this hard acyclic stent like thing that fit over the long posts. he kept trying it on and taking it off and drilling the holes to make it bigger, sometimes with it still in my mouth. Then he pushed red wax over each and every bracket (gosh all my teeth hurt). Then he took the longest impression I've ever had pushing down on the area the entire time. This was followed by two X-rays of the area. Then he unscrewed each long post (remember I have four), then screwed in each longer healing cap followed by several excruciating twists to tighten with an additional wrench.

I was in substantial throbbing pain by this time. His asst gave me three Advil. I started crying when I got in the car, the pain was so bad. When those took effect I was much better. My chin and cheeks are still sore from holding open for 1 hour 15 min. But I'm not really in as much pain anymore.

This surprisingly turned out to be an ordeal.

Grateful

I (am) well, was, sitting here with Vi on my lap, having her eat cereal, watching an Elmo video in front of the fireplace (until her dad came in and she deserted me).

Mrs. Spock had posted about another fellow infertile - one I didn't actually know about, so I was not familiar with her story. She became pregnant after 6 years of trying and this week she gave birth to her daughter Lola. And Lola died after birth. Words cannot express how awful this is. How horrible and terrible and rotten and crappy and it makes you downright lose your faith in all that is good in life.

I haven't really ever written about it, but Victoria was quite poorly at birth. Her Apgars were 3-6-9. Three is pretty low. She was rushed off to the ICU and frankly, I'm surprised (but thrilled) that she was not intubed. She recovered nicely. Once P said to me, "can you imagine if we didn't go home with a baby?" He admitted when she was born, it was pretty scary.

I had over 24 hours of labor, two epidurals, a spinal, arrest of dilatation, Victoria went into respiratory distress and I had to have an emergency C-section during which NO ONE would answer me regarding the condition of MY BABY that didn't cry and was wisked off to the ICU after a glance. It was all traumatic and hard to talk about even now, but I WENT HOME WITH MY BABY. I can't even imagine and I do not ever want to if that did not happen.

Please everyone, keep Wiseguy and her family in your prayers and thoughts.

Hot Flashes

I have suddenly become very "Hot" all the time. Because I am in and out of early menopause (high FSH, diminished ovarian reserve, etc) - I usually have hot flashes/extensive sweats in the 2-3 days leading up to my period. I have to chuck off my pajamas in the middle of the night, change the pillowcase, put down a towel. It was bad enough in the past years that my husband bought me some Wild Bleu pajamas, made for women in menopause. Old women. Sigh. We call them my "sweaty pajamas" because they help with the hot flashes at night. Last night I am on Day 8 of my cycle and surprisingly had severe hot flashes. I ended up sleeping with nothing on. (TMI) I've been having them all day. Where I worked used to be cold, but people complained and now it is 77 in my area. I am roasting and hot and sweaty all day. Hot flashes + warmer temperatures = crabby and lethargic.

Ugh. Menopause.

2011 goals

Even thought it is a few weeks into the new year, I haven't had the time to really sit down and articulate what exactly I would like to achieve, accomplish, experience, etc in the upcoming year. This does require some thought, because "those that fail to plan, plan to fail", right?

Many of my goals are practical. I would like to get Victoria potty trained this year, all from a cost/convenience/growing up standpoint. I would like to teach her to write her name (I know, a little young), brush her teeth on her own (with supervision from mama), and have her be secure enough on stairs to remove the baby gates. Take her to the playground as much as I did last year.

Our house needs a large amount of cosmetic updates. We need to make decision about flooring, painting, light fixture, etc. Get a closet door for the upstairs hallway. Finally redecorate my downstairs tiny bathroom. Plant more flowers this spring. pick out a new front door. Keep the weeds out of the driveway.

On an emotional level, I want to lay down more non-negotiable boundaries with my family. I want to be direct (both personally and at work); to say what I mean and mean what I say. I want to handle conflict well. When people are emotionally dumping on me (this happens ALL the time), I want to be able to handle it gracefully AND cut it short. My spouse needs more extra special attention, more date time, more adult time. Worry less and live in the moment more!

ON a physicial level, I need to keep up my current rate of exercise or else I will be crippled up. And I would like to be able to do just ONE sit up. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? A PUSH UP WOULD BE NICE TOO. I'd like to find something that doesn't make my hair so frizzy lately and lose 10 lbs before my class reunion in August. If I go. That is an entire other post.

Infertiliy. Of course I would like to be incubating a future member of our family. Hopefully in 2011 I can come to terms with what exactly to do.

Potty

TOnight, for the very first time, my baby made POO POO on the potty!
I admit..... I cried!

I was giving her a bath to which she repeatedly said, "No bath", "No bath".
She started looking like she was going to the bathroom (it wouldn't be the first time). I tried to pull her out of the tub, and she wouldn't let me. I let the water out and then put the Dora seat on the big potty, set her on it, gave her books, and left the room. It should be noted that she was wrapped in a towel and I think that made her feel very secure. I kept checking in on her and it was clear that she definately wanted the privacy. She kept pushing me out of the room. I continued to let her know I was nearby, and after 30 minutes, she had poo-poo'ed and wiped.

She has been very obstinate, negative, tantrum-y, and crabby lately. This made me so super excited about parenting again ;)

Not a good way to start the year

I'm up in my hometown. I had to take some time off and come up here to take care of a few things.

As I was packing up to leave today, I got the intestinal virus going around. Now I'm stuck here until I'm better.