I am alive

I have been very absent from my blog lately and I miss you bloggy folks!
May has been a whole lot of crazy.
I was in New York for 4 days for work. I went to work for two days, packed up all my stuff to move office buildings and quickly submitted my reports. Then I turned around and drove four hours to my hometown for a week before returning to work for two days and unpacking all my stuff. All while transitioning into a different role in the office. It's already the middle of May and I'm wondering what happened?

* I saw the OBGyn. He didn't have a lot of hope for me. We're going to measure my Day 3 FSH level (I hate that test with a fire of a 1000 suns) and see what the level is. (Additional note: I can tell you now - high). The last time I had FSH measured it was 48 and 18. He didn't recommend any more IVF. I totally agree from a cost standpoint and mental anguish standpoint. After that, he may try a cycle of Clomid just "for the heck of it".

* New York was hectic, hectic. P came with me which made it more fun. V stayed at our house with my MIL. She had a good time but was so clingy and whiny when we got back, it was clear that she missed us and that we are banished from ever leaving her again. When I was preparing for my trip to my mom's she acted so revolting that I think she thought she was getting left again. She kicked the suitcases and tried to unpack them. P said that she is accustomed to Daddy coming and going, but Mama is always there.

* Back to New York. It really stinks to be a city with so much food and not be able to eat the vast majority of it. It's a mourning for a life with normal eating. We went to Katz's Deli (crazy busy, tons of line cutting and rudeness) with the best pickles I've ever eaten and fantastic pastrami. We also went to a place called Lusardi's on the Upper West Side where I can a veal dish wrapped in Prosciuto that was amazing and drank red wine. That meal exceeded my per diem for the day, I can tell you that.

*The weather up North at my hometown was positively revolting. It was severe thunderstorms the entire drive up; raining so hard I couldn't hear the radio. The next day it was freezing and snowed three inches. Mother's Day was okay and the following Monday was freezing and rainy. Seriously, I wait until May for a vacation up there and it is worst WEATHER EVER. I've had enough!

* I took V for a 90 minute walk/stroller ride on one of the warmer days around town. I know every street, each house, etc. It's so sad to see so many abandoned businesses, vacant storefronts, people without jobs. My old neighborhood has houses with peeling paint, old trucks parked between the curb and the lawns, sagging porches, chewed up lawns. There is a saying that you can never go home again and that is true. It's been 17 years since I lived there full time and It isn't the same. But there is such a comfort being there. I walked past my old elementary school which is now devoid of children and walked the same way home - back when kids walked home from school. It brought back many memories and I felt 8 years old again.

* Oh did I tell you I got to read two books in New York? Two real books without interruptions and they were for adults! I read "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls - loved it, but wanted to shake those parents silly. I also read "A Change in Altitude" by Anita Shreve. I liked the expatirated part of it.