Issues

V was a very good natured baby. She liked to snuggle, rarely cried, and slept through the night starting at 4 weeks. Early toddlerhood she was quite good natured as well and routinely slept until 8ish on weekends. My big concern at this time is that she would bite, usually only me. Around 2.5 years she became a bit more outspoken and active and since she turned four there have been some concerns.

She has been having some weird anxieties after she turned three. She is terrified of animals, especially dogs. A dog will be walking on a leash on the opposite side of the street from her and she will “freak out”, crying and whining. A trip to the zoo when she was three was a source of stress and anxiety for her. For the last month she has been waking up early crying and afraid of the dark. She has multiple nightlight sources in her room, so it really isn’t that dark. You also have to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep (which can take upwards of 30 minutes).

Also in the last month or so has been the hair twirling. I understand that hair twirling is a self-soothing behavior and not out of the norm for her age. However, she has been doing constantly and obsessively. P told me last night he thought she was pulling it out too. She has had some rages where she screams and cries and hits me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and hit me. I’ve tried talking to her, time outs, spanking, taking away priviledges & toys, giving her more attention, giving her less attention. Nothing seems to work. She is having some sort of major anxiety issues. She has become very defiant and just will not obey or listen. Many things are a major argument with her, like washing her hands and using the toilet.

The crazy thing – absolutely no issues at school. When I pick her up, she starts to act up and tantrum. I think she has held it together all day, and now it is all coming out. I understand some things like the jibberish talking is most likely related to the new baby. (she constantly talks jibberish, especially at the baby and constantly bothers him, getting in his face, taking his toys). I’ve caught her on several occasions trying to hurt the baby – squeezing his hand and foot really hard, hitting him on the back. It’s incredibly stressful and I’m so darn tired of not trusting her around him. I can’t turn my back for one second on her. I have to push and drag her away from him often because she just won’t stop her behavior or listen to me.

I’ve called to get some behavior services for the anxiety, but they can’t get her in until February!! I’ve called two other places and they both haven’t gotten back to me. This is difficult to talk about, but I don’t want my little one to be so scared and worried and stressed and I need some help with coping and I think she does as well.

very bad morning

P is out of town. He usually does the morning get ready stuff and drops off Victoria. I go into work for 7:30 and leave by 4:00 or 4:30 and pick V up by 5:00, leaving me very precious time on some days to run errands unencumbered. Today, I didn’t get into work until 8:30. I put on all the lights and let V get herself out of bed. She refused to use the potty or get out of her pajamas. I finally had to turn off the lights and pretend to go downstairs and then she cried, but got on the potty. She demanded books to be read. I told her we didn’t have time. She cried. I tried to change her shirt, etc while she was sitting on the potty. She whined and cried and protested.

I got her downstairs. She refused juice and water, shouting, crying, and whining. I put a banana in my bag and she started bawling and crying for it. It was the only one and really didn’t have anything else much to eat. Plus I knew I would give it to her and she wouldn’t eat it so it would be wasted. I am fairly obsessive about making lunches the night before, but last night I didn’t. I was making her lunch and took her water bottle and mixed in some water and diet ginger ale (it masks the taste of the miralax). She bawled and cried that “she didn’t want water”, AT LEAST 40 times. I ended up yelling at her twice to be quiet. I couldn’t take anymore. Finally I went over to try and get her dressed. She bawled about the choice of shoes and protested. I told her I was going to wear them then and she screamed and cried. I put her hat on her and she bawled and yelled because she “wanted to do it by myself”. She then fell off the chair and bawled. She kept asking for chex in a cup which I gave her. She kept on whining because the quantity wasn’t sufficient. I kept adding more. I helped her put her coat on and finally she would accept the shoes. I moved her Chex cup and she was so upset and grabbing it that she fell off the chair again. More bawling. I took one chex out of the cup and ate it (Have you tried the chocolate chex, they are good!) and she got so mad she hit me in the face. I was so angry. I sat her down in the chair, ripped her hat off, and made her look at me while I told her never ever to do that again. She cried and cried. She wanted to put the coat “on herself!” and pulled it off after all of my work and coaxing. I finally was seeing red and took out the bags to the car where again she followed me bawling that she needed “her coat zipped” and crying.


This entire 45 min I spent with my child today was made up entirely of her yelling, bawling, crying, screaming, and me yelling. I feel like a jerk. I finally got her into the car and strapped in. She said, “I love you momma”. I started to cry. I apologized for yelling at her, but told her she needed to listen and be a helper for mama.