Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Oh my goodness, since approximately March (when I had my surgery), Victoria has been a bit “difficult”. I really don’t know any other way to put it. Currently, her bad behaviors are walking up and hitting me (Usually only me), screaming ‘no’ at the top her lungs, stomping on my feet, throwing things, and yelling “I don’t like that”. Last night, I didn’t feel the best, my jaw hurt, my body hurt, and I felt like garbage. She screamed and cried about not being able to go outside, she screamed and cried about coming in the house, she cried and threw toys about putting her pajamas and lotion on. Multiple times she just walked up and hit me. She received multiple time outs for hitting me and really she didn’t give a damn. They had zero effect on her. I’ve tried talking to her in a whisper about how hitting and screening isn’t nice. I’ve tried taking away privledges (like WallE movie, and her one coveted juice box per day), I’ve tried hugging, and redirecting. I just don’t know what to do. I’m terrified that she has become a little bratty terror, and concerned why the majority is targeted at me. There is so much to do in the evenings (and I am just doing the miniumum folks), that I can’t give her hours of undivided attention. I sit and talk to her while we eat. I spend time reading or trying to do a puzzle with her. I talk to her while I get ready for bed. We do things like play catch and use sidewalk chalk, take a ride in her little car, walk to the mailbox, and water the plants together, sometimes she helps me cook.

Somehow I feel like I am not giving her the right kind or amount of attention.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wasted $$$

Yesterday morning I was in th kitchen at work and someone was toasting a cheese bagel. The smell made me run to the bathroom and throw up. When I was out at lunch, the smell of tar in the parking lot made me have dry heaves. I've felt fatigued and nauseous and run down yesterday and today.

I had to go to Wal-greens on the way home. V picked up and carried her usual assortment of treasures around the store and keeps replacing them with whatever suits her fancy. In this case, started with a kite kit and plastic drinking glass. This was exchanged for a plastic baton and a bag of chocolate pretzels, then a baby bottle. We ended up with a Nestle Crunch on sale for 39 cents. We each had a small square in the car.

Anyway, you probably know what happened. I bought a test. It was negative. Of course.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers

Well, let's see. Sesame street is out, Yo Gabba Gabba is in. I wonder if I should get rid of the Elmo chair?

I was asked to be a "Bonding between Mothers and Children" study". Part of the study involves an MRI. I have so much metal in my head that it definately isn't a good idea.

Tonight we went out to dinner and when I got home at 7:30, something happened. I got into work mode! I painted the bathroom ceiling and trim, did all the dishes, washed the counters, and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Wow. What happened?

I went to Secretary of State (our version of DMV) to renew my license. Ugh. I've never seen so many people that looked like the crawled out from under a rock. Lots of mullets, a older woman with absolutely filthy clothes, tons of very LARGE tattoos, people that stank like smoke, and people that were just totally clueless.

My teeth are so yellow. I hate it so much.

My birthday is next week. While I'm grateful for another year of life, it is difficult to turn older!

When I picked up V yesterday the teacher said that she hit, scratched, and shoved the other children and had to sit in time out on the playground. I'm so embarassed. I don't want my child to be a bully.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Crazy Day

Life has been so topsy turvy lately. So, so busy.
People say, “how can you be that busy. You can’t handle having one kid”. Geez thanks lady.
Let me tell you about my day yesterday. Some people may find this boring. Victoria’s behavior was actually really good yesterday (it hasn’t been at ALL lately, but that is fodder for another post).

6:00 am Got up (usually snooze until 6:30). Shower, including hair shampoo (this takes more time).
6:30 – 7:00 – get dressed. Leave my hair natural (aka bad) Hunt around downstairs for Vi’s shoes and comb. Leave out for daddy. Get lunch and various foods from fridge/cupboard for work (I bring a LOT of food to work).
7:05 – leave. Think I should water my plants before work, not after. Put foundation on face without looking in the mirror (I’m that good) and other makeup at stoplights.
7:30 – get to work.
12:00 – run out and get food for lunch. Usually I exercise for lunch and eat at my desk later.
4:00 pm – leave work.
4:25 pm – get back into town. Run over to Marshalls for new sandals for V since daycare has decreed all toes must be covered.
5:10 pm – get to daycare. V’s class is outside playing on the slides. Wait for 20 minutes and talk to the other kids while she ignores me. Lift her onto the bench outside the baby room so V can see the babies and wish for a sister. Drag her away to the car. She demands snacks and whines for juice. I give her high fiber crackers and water and ignore the whining about juice. Notice her shirt is absolutely filthy.
5:30 pm – Leave and drive a short distance to the Gymnastics studio. (Yes, V is taking gymnastics!). Take two wrong turns plus heavy traffic. Pay my cash and fill out forms while V takes her shirt off (in front of tons of parents and kids) and whips it around, then throws it across the room. I’m juggling writing a check (who doesn’t take credit cards anyway?), wrangling her and talking to the lady. We watch the older girls on the floor exercise and V is entranced.
6:25 pm – Hungry, tired, have to pee, etc. Get home. The neighbor and her 3 year old are standing at the porch waiting for us to “play”. Try to tell them that we are tired and exhausted (at least I am). End up letting V play for 20 minutes while I chat and water my flowers. Finally keep saying we have to go in so they will leave (they are not big on social cues). Pour applesauce and some turkey lunchmeat for V. I throw together rice, beans, salsa, plain yogurt, cheese and eat it with some whole grain chips. It’s 7:15 already.
7:15 pm- 7:45 pm – take V upstairs and start bath. As I’m pulling her out, constant knocking at the door. Take her downstairs dripping and naked and it is my neighbor (a different one) and her 10 year old son. She walked her (red –eyed and upset) son to Dairy Queen and left her keys there. Can I give her a ride? I asked her to let me get V dressed first. She says she can take my car (she doesn’t have her license with her she adds) so I don’t have to load up everyone. Vi shows the son a toy (still naked of course) while I get her medicine and pajamas ready.
8:00 pm – Neighbor comes back accompanied by my husband. He pulled in the drive form work just as she was taking off, so he took her to get the keys. She leaves and he is hungry. Toddler still naked. I point him in the direction of the food I left out. I get her lotioned up and in pajamas. Get snack and milky. Then I start making lunches while she bugs Daddy while he eats. Then we all finally sit down and watch “Wall-E”, her new favorite movie until 9:00 (late). And put her to bed. I don’t do dishes because I’m just too tired. They are waiting for me tonight.

What a crazy, hectic day.