Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Advice needed

P and I have been married for 10 years this past June. We used to travel often, which has now waned somewhat. We decided to go take a 10 year anniversary trip this year. Without V. We are planning on leaving for Florida (my choice) soon. V is going to stay with my mother (my father is deceased) up North. We leave on a Sunday and return on a Saturday. (Oh and BTW - someone is house sitting for us while we are gone!) I am going to meet my mom halfway on the day before we leave and hand over V. I am extremely concerned about this transaction. We plan to have lunch and visit Sam's Club, so there is some transition. I also have to pack my mom's vehicle will all of V's stuff and install the car seat. Frankly, my stomach is in knots about it and I feel like just bawling my eyes out. When I see that little confused face pull away, I am going to lose it. I hope she doesn't cry too much. She isn't up at my mom's that much, but she does know my mom. I wish my mom could some to our house for the week, but it really is a lot for her. My mom is supposed to bring her back to our house two days before we arrive home and take her to school one of the days (I know my mom will need a break!).

I know that my mother has fun things planned, and has plenty of books, toys, and videos for her. She will have oodles of attention from my BIL and my mom's old lady friends. But I am very worried that she will feel abandoned. And scared. And alone. And miss her friends at school. I am worried about her crying the entire time (I know she can't cry for an entire week, can she?). I have been preparing her by mentioning that she is going to visit Grandma and mama and daddy will be gone for a while, but will be back before she knows it.

I really would like to bring her with us, because I like to be around her at all times and miss her terribly when we are apart. However, I know this is important to foster independence. I am looking very forward to eating a romantic meal unmolested and without wrestling a toddler. I am looking forward to having time to listen to my spouse and doing fun adult activities with him. I am looking forward to thinking about "us" and just being together.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

This morning

Someone wanted to sit on the rug by the door.

Taken with my iPhone, so not high quality.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

another IF post

Another infertility post. Believe me, I am not sitting around thinking about this stuff all time. I am busy enjoying my little girl! But it hits me in little ways throughout the days. Thursday when I picked up V, I saw a little boy's mother I hadn't seen in a while. She was visibly pregnant. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Yesterday when I picked her up, there was another mother with a child in her class that was visibly pregnant. I just resigned myself this time. I told P last week and he listened, which made me feel better. He remarked that V was the perfect age - aka the age in which most people have their 2nd kid. In fact, V is the only 1 of 2 children in her room of 12 -16 kids (it interchanges) that is an only child. The other kid's parents look overwhelmed, so I don't know if it is an infertility issue. She just doesn't have the hungry longing in her eyes.
The fact that I conceived one child does not mean that I can conceive another. Even with help. To take a "glass half full" approach - that's okay! I had my Victoria, which is an incredible gift. Still trying to come to terms.

Monday, November 8, 2010

jaw update

Last Wednesday I went to the oral surgeon for my one month follow up from my third surgery. It went well. I saw the resident that I like (and let's be honest, think is cute, but is probably 8 years younger than me), the fellow that did my 2nd surgery (and is very nice, but not as cute), and my surgeon. I was surrounded by men. My teeth and jaw make me such a unique creature of interest. (Sorry for the sidenote).

Things looked very good, despite the incision opening up twice. They were forced to just let the edges of the tissue grow together, and it has done so, quite well. I have to see the Prostodontist that is making my partial denture (my $5000 partial denture so damn it better be good), and in 3-4 more months we can "load" the implants with it. I'M SO EXCITED! I will have teeth on the bottom like 99.9% of the rest of the population.

Then my 4th surgery (aka the BIG ONE) is going to only be a one jaw surgery, on my lower jaw. It will be a Bilateral Sagital Split Osteotomy (BSSO), where my lower jaw is cut into pieces and repositioned. They are going to do a bone graft for my upper teeth spaces (that show and make me look like a jack o lantern) at that time.
That will be the first week of March.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


I have to get things out of the basement. The exterminator is coming tomorrow. yes, the mice problem has intensified. I called a local charity and put some things on the porch for pickup. Among them were the baby swing (sob) and the exersaucer. They were both hand me downs and not in perfect shape. I'm sad. I have to come to terms with this. This infertility. These dysfunctional ovaries.

The changing table, bath, carseats, and stroller are still down there. Just not ready yet.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tis' the Season

Now is the time to start thinking about Christmas presents. I am the type of person that tends to leave things to the last minute. I just can't do that anymore with Victoria being around and my husband working so much. Can I say that Amazon has been a gift from God? The last two years I've done a large Amazon order (with free super saver shipping) and that has really cut down my time running around to stores. This year we are going to Florida for our 10th Anniversary the first week of December (yikes, sans Victoria ) so anytime will be cut even less.

I don't like to spoil V with a ton of presents. Even though we were on the poor side growing up, we always had tons of presents at Christmas. Too many, really. My parents did things like A Christmas Club to save all year long.

Anyway, P's family is most likely not doing gifts this year, possibly picking names, so that will be easy. I don't really do gifts with my sister's family - I get the teens gift cards. V's teachers usually get gift cards to Target or Starbucks. My mom wants Estee Lauder Beautiful lotion/perfume. I got her started on this a few years ago, It's expensive, but luxurious and easy. I can't talk about P's gifts on here because he sometimes reads the blog. But he likes gifts :)

Vi has expressed a great deal of interest in bikes/tricycles. We were in Target and after 10 minutes I had to pull her kicking and screaming off a Radio Flyer Fold and Go Trike. It's $47 and my mother wants to get it for her. She would need a bike helmet too.

This is what I have for V so far:

Melissa and Doug Lacing Beads ~ $11 on Amazon.

Alix Barnyard Bath Toys ~$8

Fisher Price Barnyard - this costs $30 but I bought mine at Costco and it is some sort of deluxe set for $20. I'm excited about it.

I'm sure V will receive a ton of books, which is great. Used or new, we don't care!
I wish Santa would bring her a bookcase for all these books though.