Thursday, October 28, 2010

Funny Conversations I've had this week

Crazy conversations I've had this week:

Scene: Vi took off her diaper, was running around and pooped on the floor (kitchen thank goodness). *Sigh*
VI: stinky (pointing at poop). Stinky.
Me: Victoria! Why didn't you tell mama that you had to go potty?
VI: I dunnnooknooowww
VI: Mama mad.
Me: No, mama is just disappointed. You have to tell mama when you have to go. Poop goes in the potty, NOT the floor.
VI: Okay mama (grins)
VI: Yes mama

Info: I'm working on a project at work and I need concentration, Usually I do not like music playing.
Me to P: I've been listening to You Tube on my Iphone at work lately.
P: What have you been listening to?
Me: Pearl Jam
P: Really?
Me: They are super great. I can't get enough of them
P: What were you doing in say... '93?
Me: I was in college.
P: And not listening to Pearl Jam
Me: no, they were popular then?
P: The '90's called. They want their music back.
Me: Maybe we could see them live. (Checks website). Oh, they haven't toured since 2006. :(
P: You're only about 20 years too late. Maybe you should get back in your time machine and go to a concert. *snickers*

Friday, October 22, 2010


We went to Costco last weekend. V loves Costco, esp the free samples and three aisles of Christmas Toys. Here she is checking things out...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I may just....

fall down and not get up one of these days. Things have been extremely chaotic.

After I had my surgery, I ended up being out for two more days. I just couldn't open my mouth enough and I had difficulty drinking and talking. Overall, I've been great though. The next week P was gone to Texas, and I was still recovering. The following week, I noticed the white bone graft showing through my gums. All the stitches had opened up! I had to drive to the ER at 8:00 at night and have my already VERY SORE gums re-stiched. I will not lie, it was painful. I did some deep breathing techniques so I didn't spazz out while the intern poked my sore swollen oral mucosa with a needle 11 times to numb up the area. He put in 8 new stiches and by the time I got home I was in pain. Today I had a follow up appointment and everything looked great. Then I noticed it opened up AGAIN! Tomorrow I have to go in and have it restitched again. Sigh.

P worked last weekend and has worked super late hours all last and this week. The cleaning woman has been out of comission. Everything is a huge, huge mess. I do the minimum every night - dishes, lunches X 3, baths, sweeping the floor, laying out the clothes. It takes forever and I don't sit down from 5:30-9:30 at night. I'm so darn tired. I can't keep up. I don't know what to do anymore. How do people with two little kids work full time and keep everything going and get to spent time with their kids? With the hours my husband works I think working one day a week less would help, but it's hard to give up the $$$. When I am at work, which I really like working, sometimes I miss V so much.

I didn't want this to be a complaint post. But wow, am I overwhelmed....

Thursday, October 7, 2010

It went well

So yesterday I had my 3rd jaw surgery. This one was technically a repeat of the 2nd surgery from the beginning of July from which I had four dental implants placed and hardware removal. I lost 3 of the 4 implants afterwards, etc.

I emailed my surgeon over a week ago asking him if he was planning on removing the hardware that was protruding through my gums and informing him that I did indeed have the surgical stent in my possession. The stent was made by my prothodontist and cost me $420. They packed everything up after my 2nd surgery and told me to take it back to him, not imagining that we would need it again. It's been locked in the cabinet under my downstairs bathroom sink.

I told my husband on the drive there that I'll bet they were hunting EVERYWHERE for that splint. We got to the hospital and thankfully, I had a fellow that I really liked. He came in and told us that "they were going to take some impressions" because "I haven't had any since June". Hahahaha. I played along for a while, and then I pulled the box out of my bag and said, "Oh, did you need the surgical stent? I have it right here". You should have seen his face! We all laughed. He said he called everywhere looking for it and called me twice. I don't why he didn't leave a message. My surgeon also doesn't read his email either. He admitted that he has over 1000 unread.

The start was slllooowww. They were training a new older male nurse (that was annoying and clueless) along with the nurse I like. The assistant brought in trays and trays of equipment. The fellow put in the IV with no problem. I sat for a looonnggg time while everyone ran around. I remember them giving me a little bit of meds (probably Fentayl and Versed) and then the room started to spin. Later, I remember trying to talk and them shushing me. I don't remember waking up at all or them taking out the IV or anything.

I didn't wake up in pain like last time and feel about 1000% better than the last surgery. I've had more oozing of blood and more swelling and a LOT more stitches. I can hardly open my mouth. Of course I'm on massive doses of Clindamycin (again) for 10 days. I only took one Norco before bed last night and am managing pain with Tylenol. They wrote me off for all week but I may go back tomorrow. Trying to conserve sick time.

I'm feeling.... I don't know, hopeful again?? :)

Monday, October 4, 2010


Victoria is growing up so quickly. People always tell you that they grow up quickly, and that is 100% correct. P and were discussing that the last vestiges of her babyhood are the diapers and the fact that she has little hair. Whenever I look at her I feel so incredibly blessed, lucky, thrilled, fortunate, grateful, happy - that I was able to have her. Even when she is pulling on me whining and crying when I am trying to do something.

P and I spoke the other night about what happens next. I so hoped that I would have gotten pregnant by now. We were never sure if going gluten free "Fixed" my infertility problems, or her conception was simply a case of the stars and moons aligning and the appearance of a miracle egg. I'm beginning to think it was the later. He asked if we wanted to get an egg donor to have another child. I said no. I don't think I can go through all that stuff again. Plus, the cash for no guarantee of a child being in your arms.

People think that because you had that child, the infertility feelings go away. They don't. They become less intense, and less hurtful, but that emptiness and inadequacy stay inside. At V's school, it seems every week I see another pregnant mother having a 2nd child. And I think - is that going to be me? I know people want to ask - when are you having a second one? And I want to yell - "I'm trying! I am so lucky to have this one". There is a lady in my sub (I don't know her that well) that has a 9 year old son and a new baby at 41. A huge surprise. She was infertile.

SO in conclusion, do we want another child? Yes. Am I willing to undergo more infertility treatments? No. How long will we keep trying? I don't know yet. I think we will both know when we reach that point. I will be 3 (cough) 8 (cough) next year so I think it is coming soon. Please pray for me to have the wisdom to know what and when to do.

Friday, October 1, 2010

So what is new with me? A lot. Just haven't had the time to write about it.
I'm drinking a gin/Diet Squirt, eating popcorn, and using the computer while P rocks V to sleep as she watches Super Why. One of the two episodes that I TiVo'd. That V loves. And that P said, "I don't think I can take anymore of this episode".

* It's FALL here. And I wore shoes to work for the first time instead of sandals. I love sandals. I dislike finding socks. And I dislike finding Victoria socks and smushing her feet into shoes. Plus, her 6's are becoming quite tight and the 7's are way too big. It's very difficult to find toddler shoes in a 6.5 to boot.
* Wednesday I am having surgery on my jaw to replace the three implants that fell out. The surgeon is going to remove the metal holding my chin bone graft to my chin bone as well since it is sticking up through my gums and frankly, becoming a bit sore.
* What is this "Yo Gabba Gabba" show? Everyone seems to be into it.
* My period was 4 days late and I was so excited! But then it arrived. Sigh. Infertility rears its ugly head every month.
* We have more and more forclosures in our neighborhood. First, the house starts looking kind of shabby. The bushes become overgrown, the grass becomes long. Then there is more and more trash appearring at the curb. Then a water department notice. Then the abandonment and the notices. It's so depressing.
* Have you been watching "Dancing with the Stars"? It seems like everyone has. The only show I've been able to catch lately is "I didn't Know I was Pregnant".
* Greg Giraldo died. I'm sad. He was so funny at the Comedy Central Roasts. I love Stand Up Comedy. The last person we saw in stand up was Doug Standhope.