Sunday, March 28, 2010

Elmo's world

I always promised myself that when/if I had a child, I would restrict TV useage. I guess I'm a hypocrite, because I let Victoria watch Sprout. She really likes the puppets in the between show segments, the Happy Birthday segments, and Seseame Street. She also has an Elmo book I bought last summer that we read daily. I think she recognized him on TV and became very excited. Thus, she loves Elmo and walks around saying, "ELMO" all day.

Yesterday my friend S and I went to some "Moms to Moms" sales which are put on by various community organizations in churches and community centrs. They are huge rummage sales with kids and babies stuff, including books, toys, and clothing and held early on Saturday mornings. Many have very crummy stuff, and fewer have really awesome stuff! The key to any success at all is to be there before it opens and wait in line. Anyway, I went to two and bought Vi a cute dress for $3 at one along with an ELMO doll (Learn to Dress Elmo) in perfect, unplayed with condition for $1 (retails for $129 !!!??? on Amazon). Victoria happened to be with us and loved it immediately. I also found her a small Fisher-Price baby cradle for $2 (retails for $39 on Amazon).

I was waiting for my friend S and we were running around in the big item room. Victoria spotted a big fuzzy ELMO chair and ran to it with glee! She laid on the chair and hugged it and hugged it and then tried to pick it up and drag it towards the exit. I tried to get her to leave without it, but she really, really wanted it. So I bought it for $10. It is a tiny bit dirty around the eyes. Here she is sitting in it in all of its big, red, tacky glory, immediately when she got up and didn't even put her pants on yet.

On a different note, we were out a lot this weekend, but look at our house!! Sigh.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Heavy Metal

Here is the X-ray of my jaw and what it looks like on the inside. You can tell I am missing a lot of teeth; not due to decay, but due to the AXIN2 mutation. They just never formed. There are a lot of screws ($150 screws!) and plates and do-dads holding my chin onto my jaw and the bone graft down. You can see the bone graft on the lower bottom because the bone line is much higher to the gums.

It doesn't hurt at all anymore. My chin feels a tiny bit numb and is hard to the touch. I'm starting to become very excited about all of this. I wish I would have had the opportunity to do this 20 years ago, but I had no money and my parents weren't supportive at all (my mom mostly-she is not supportive of a lot of things, but that is a post for another day). My mother told me to have of them pulled like she did and "why did I want to go through all of that?". I did have braces in Junior High because our family dentist insisted on it; otherwise he couldn't make partials for the missing teeth. Most of the orthodontics were covered by insurance, but my mother still likes to remind me (20 years later) that they had to pay out of pocket for it. The Orthodontist that did give me braces in Junior High was unkind and bordering on verbally abusive. I could not help it my teeth were so crummy. Jaw surgery would have been out of the question. We were also a 3 hour drive each way away from an oral surgeon. Did I mention that I love, love my orthodontist now? He treats me like a celebrity :)

It's obvious this process has brought up some resentment towards my mother - like "why didn't they help me? My teeth and jaw were such a mess"? I don't think my parents were capable of it. My father was sick and we lived pretty frugally in a town without many resources. She still doesn't understand why I am going through these expensive, and painful procedure and withholds verbal support. It makes me feel like I am not worth the trouble and am trying to be a "snob" because I am having work done. Her teeth were good enough for her right? So they should be good enough for me. But my husband is supportive and I'm so glad. Because I'm totally worth it. :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010


These are pictures from the last week. The outfits I purchased at Moms to Moms Sales and some were a fashion show; hence the bribary with suckers.

My vintage Gymboree dress:

My summer outfit... mommy gave me a sucker, so I will pose for your enjoyment:

I fell on the playground while Mommy was in Chicago:

My new pajama-jams from Grandma N in which I don't want my picture taken!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sunny Days

It has been so nice here. We've been taking walks every evening.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Night Leftovers

* Have baby names running from my head - Juliet, Quinn, Rodger, Elias. Crazy, since I have no baby.

* Been hungry all day. Eating nonstop. What is going on? Watching TV where they are making beef tenderloin. Need to eat that. now.

* This morning on the way to work, I pulled over to the side for approximately 15 for a police motorcade of over 140 cars from all over the state. All you could see was a line of flashing lights. A police officer from our town was killed in the line of duty and they were on their way to funeral. It was amazing. I took some pictures with my phone, but they aren't very good and don't do it justice.

* Spring is sprung! I love it! 50-60 degrees and time to be outside. Vi is outside a great deal at school, but wants to go outside constantly. She doesn't want to ride in the little pink car anymore - she wants to run!

* I've been going to what we can moms to mom sales. Great deals and gently used stuff. I bought Vi some nice Fisher Prices toys last week for mere dollars. She enjoys them. I love the thrill of the hunt too.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I cried yesterday

I cried yesterday. I cried for a wonderful woman I know that I had a miscarriage and had finally achieved pregnancy, only to miscarry at 14 weeks. Just after she started telling people. She has the same condition I have, the premature menopause. I cried for all of us infertiles; past and present tense. All of the trials and tribulations, the losses and heartbreaks, the feelings of failure, the dreams unfulfilled, the empty arms. I emailed her to tell her that she was in my thoughts and prayers since I heard about both the pregnancy and miscarriage secondhand. And you know what she said back? - "you give me hope". I lost it then.

It's strange even though I have my miraculous blessing, the infertility feelings are muted, but not gone. I'm experiencing a great deal of longing for another child since we have been trying again for some time. Infertility is so strange like that. You see a pregnant woman and it hits you like a rock. Someone else has difficulty and you totally sort through your feelings and feel a strong bond and empathy. No one really understands except you, my fellow infertiles. And I'm so grateful for your friendship.

Monday, March 1, 2010

18 Months Old!

Oh Little V -

You are now 18 months old. No longer a baby, but fast on your way to "little girlhood". I want to remember this time fondly.

The main points I want to remember:

Activity -
Climbing, climbing, climbing. You love to climb! Unfortunately, we live in a climate with 5 months of snowy cold winter. I can't wait to get to the playground in the Spring and let you run up and down the playscapes. You have a habit of climbing on a low chest table next to the couch, up over the arm rest and then standing on the couch (Little scamp!). After my surgery I was sitting in the recliner napping, daddy was getting my medicine, and you climbed up on a high side table to propel yourself into my lap. Boy, I was surprised! You can climb up into a kitchen chair to get to things on the kitchen table. It takes a lot of effort for you, but you are becoming very adept at it. The core muscles are getting strong!

The Potty -
We bought you a Singing Princess Potty and now I can get you to sit it on for short periods, especially if M&M's and books are involved. It sings a song when you pee or poo and so far, I've only managed to have you pee pee on it once. If you have to poo, you crawl under the kitchen table or high chair to do your business.

Food -
You went through a period where I think you existed on cereal, bananas, milk, and Gerber Ravioli. Your appetiate has improved in the last two weeks. You still only want to eat dry cereal, bananas, strawberries, soy sausage, nutrigrain bars, yoghurt, applesauce and those DAMN ravioli. I've read some books and am trying to "play it cool", offering you lots of new foods and not making a fuss over what you will eat or not eat. We went to restaurants twice in January and you were not very well behaved. At all. Restaurants on hold for now.

Reading -
Since before Christmas, you have went NUTS over books. We've been to the library three times to get you some new books. You love the library; especially their wood puzzles. We read around 10 books a night and more on weekends. I love that you love to read. Sometimes you will open a book and "read" it to yourself. It's really cute.

Tantrums/Crying -
You have had a baaaddd period of crying, whining, and tantruming. Always over small things. Like not getting to play with the squeegie in the bathtub, having your hair combed (you despise this), taking things away that you shouldnt' have (like the meat thermometer, or a bottle of vanilla extract). Thank goodness you don't have much hair to comb or fix.

Current Favorites-
Food - Strawberries
Activites: Reading, climbing, watching Sprout, trying on shoes, opening kitchen cupboards
Book: Still Baby Bear, Baby Bear, What do you see?
Toys: Still Leapfrog Fridge Magnets, Melissa and Doug Puzzles, the telephone
People: Mummy and Daddy, of course!
Clothing: Size 18 months pants, 18-24 month shirts
Size: 93% for height, 53% for weight

Talking -
Your talking has really come along in the last two weeks. You say "Bye" and wave to people, Say "Hi" and "Hello" , "Mine-O" for sippy cup, and you have been imitating what I say, which I really like.

Other -
I think you have a mild sensory processing disorder. Trying to brush your teeth or hair, wash your face or hands, get you to eat mixed texture food (ie: yoghurt mixed with granola) is very difficult, and you have some issues with that. We're working on it.