Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Heavy Metal

Here is the X-ray of my jaw and what it looks like on the inside. You can tell I am missing a lot of teeth; not due to decay, but due to the AXIN2 mutation. They just never formed. There are a lot of screws ($150 screws!) and plates and do-dads holding my chin onto my jaw and the bone graft down. You can see the bone graft on the lower bottom because the bone line is much higher to the gums.

It doesn't hurt at all anymore. My chin feels a tiny bit numb and is hard to the touch. I'm starting to become very excited about all of this. I wish I would have had the opportunity to do this 20 years ago, but I had no money and my parents weren't supportive at all (my mom mostly-she is not supportive of a lot of things, but that is a post for another day). My mother told me to have of them pulled like she did and "why did I want to go through all of that?". I did have braces in Junior High because our family dentist insisted on it; otherwise he couldn't make partials for the missing teeth. Most of the orthodontics were covered by insurance, but my mother still likes to remind me (20 years later) that they had to pay out of pocket for it. The Orthodontist that did give me braces in Junior High was unkind and bordering on verbally abusive. I could not help it my teeth were so crummy. Jaw surgery would have been out of the question. We were also a 3 hour drive each way away from an oral surgeon. Did I mention that I love, love my orthodontist now? He treats me like a celebrity :)

It's obvious this process has brought up some resentment towards my mother - like "why didn't they help me? My teeth and jaw were such a mess"? I don't think my parents were capable of it. My father was sick and we lived pretty frugally in a town without many resources. She still doesn't understand why I am going through these expensive, and painful procedure and withholds verbal support. It makes me feel like I am not worth the trouble and am trying to be a "snob" because I am having work done. Her teeth were good enough for her right? So they should be good enough for me. But my husband is supportive and I'm so glad. Because I'm totally worth it. :)


Searching for Serenity said...

HOLY CRAP GIRL!! And I thought my drama was bad. You are a trooper!!

Good for you for doing it for yourself! It will teach your daughter to believe in herself and that it's important that she treats herself right, regardless of what anyone says.

I hope Nugget gets Cap'm's teeth.

Kelly said...

Your dad did have a rough ride, didn't he? Living in that godforsaken town didn't help anyone see much a view of the outside world, did it? It was sooooo far from everything? (Csan you tell I don't miss it?)

You are looking fabulous. I'm proud of you.

MrsSpock said...

Yes, you are worth it!I admire your courage to go through with it- it sounds awfully painful!

Alisha said...

Don't feel bad for a second! Any reasonable person would want to correct a serious problem like you had. You had the resources and courage to do so. You are worth it--of course you are! Honestly, maybe your mom wishes she could have done it herself? People tend to get weird like that when they regret something...

Anonymous said...

isn't it funny how our parents expect us to make the same choices that they did??

sounds like we grew up in the same town!!