Monday, December 17, 2012

Santa Visit

I belong to a community group that hosts a children's Holiday Party each year. I don't do much with the group any more; it's morphed from stay-at-home moms with young children to older retired ladies. (I wish I could find a great mom's group that meets in the evenings). But I like the Holiday Party. Great time with Santa. V jumped up right on his lap this year and Benny just wasn't too sure.

*Disclaimer -This is the way her hair is looking since she has this chronic twisting problem and has broke it all off. I, in no universe would ever cut it that short.

Thursday, December 6, 2012


First was post-partum, now is post-surgery (four to be exact). Have two more to go - one major, one minor. no one things i look different except my old boss and my doctors. But I do.


Current after: ( I have on no eye makeup and I obviously have some extra chin skin, yuck).

Monday, December 3, 2012

post partum update

I’ve had some major bouts of depression in my life. Although it is under control, it has been a cross to bear since I was 19. In the past 8 or so years it has evolved more into an anxiety disorder. Panic attacks, hours of crying, obsessing worrying thoughts. I never am sure what exactly will set me off. The really bad episodes are once or twice a year. But I deal with it quite well in my opinion. Since I have the kids I really don’t have much time for it and I don’t want to set a bad example for them. They deserve calm mom. When V was born I was watched fairly closely for PPD. I had four days of baby blues approximately a week after she was born. Just a lot of crying and emotions. I always wanted to talk care of her, there was no disinterest. I think it was mostly the result of hormones, a difficult delivery, and a rough Csection recovery. It passed. With the 2nd, it’s been more insidious. Panic attacks here and there over COMPLETE NONSENSE THINGS. An inability to concentrate, chronic worry, obsessive worry. Things that two days later, I wonder what the HELL I was thinking! I went to talk someone and they felt it was Postpartum anxiety. They gave me some benzo’s which I am reluctant to take, but I take a ¼ of one (I would not be able to function on a whole dose!) and it helps clear the chest tightness and rests my mind.

I think I’m doing really well coping with it. It is definitely hormone related because my life is good! My husband is understanding and supportive. I always have to remember that this (meaning a rough time) will pass.

Here is a picture of the little man. He wants to move so badly. He lurched that exersaucer across the kitchen floor to get to me. He thought he was pretty clever too 

Monday, November 12, 2012


This was just after eating prunes for the first time. It's cold and dreary and dark out. So time for a smile ;)

Thursday, November 8, 2012


V was a very good natured baby. She liked to snuggle, rarely cried, and slept through the night starting at 4 weeks. Early toddlerhood she was quite good natured as well and routinely slept until 8ish on weekends. My big concern at this time is that she would bite, usually only me. Around 2.5 years she became a bit more outspoken and active and since she turned four there have been some concerns.

She has been having some weird anxieties after she turned three. She is terrified of animals, especially dogs. A dog will be walking on a leash on the opposite side of the street from her and she will “freak out”, crying and whining. A trip to the zoo when she was three was a source of stress and anxiety for her. For the last month she has been waking up early crying and afraid of the dark. She has multiple nightlight sources in her room, so it really isn’t that dark. You also have to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep (which can take upwards of 30 minutes).

Also in the last month or so has been the hair twirling. I understand that hair twirling is a self-soothing behavior and not out of the norm for her age. However, she has been doing constantly and obsessively. P told me last night he thought she was pulling it out too. She has had some rages where she screams and cries and hits me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and hit me. I’ve tried talking to her, time outs, spanking, taking away priviledges & toys, giving her more attention, giving her less attention. Nothing seems to work. She is having some sort of major anxiety issues. She has become very defiant and just will not obey or listen. Many things are a major argument with her, like washing her hands and using the toilet.

The crazy thing – absolutely no issues at school. When I pick her up, she starts to act up and tantrum. I think she has held it together all day, and now it is all coming out. I understand some things like the jibberish talking is most likely related to the new baby. (she constantly talks jibberish, especially at the baby and constantly bothers him, getting in his face, taking his toys). I’ve caught her on several occasions trying to hurt the baby – squeezing his hand and foot really hard, hitting him on the back. It’s incredibly stressful and I’m so darn tired of not trusting her around him. I can’t turn my back for one second on her. I have to push and drag her away from him often because she just won’t stop her behavior or listen to me.

I’ve called to get some behavior services for the anxiety, but they can’t get her in until February!! I’ve called two other places and they both haven’t gotten back to me. This is difficult to talk about, but I don’t want my little one to be so scared and worried and stressed and I need some help with coping and I think she does as well.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

5 months!!

Happy 5 months buddy!

I love this kid so darn much. I can’t imagine life without him! Right now he is eating just under 30 oz of formula a day along with half a small veg or fruit and a T of rice cereal. He loves food. He LOVES food. It’s shoveled in his mouth and he doesn’t miss a drop.
He weighs almost 16 lbs and is 94% tile for length!
He’s quick to smile.
His usual sleep schedule is a 45 min nap around 9 am, 1230ish – 245ish, a cat nap around 5:15 pm. He would sleep a couple of hours before bedtime – ie 5:00 – 7:00 pm if I let him. But I don’t. He goes down for the night anywhere between 8:00 – 9:00 and sleeps until around 5:30-6:00ish. He will sleep through the night around 4 nights out of seven. Then he is up once to eat for two days, then he is up twice (or more) for one day until the cycle repeats himself. The more places I take him in the evenings, the more tired he becomes and the better he sleeps.
He doesn’t cry much.
He lays in his crib and “talks”. Complains really, until someone comes in (meaning me). He gets so excited when he comes in that he kicks around like crazy and grins.
I put him in the same position in the crib each night swaddled and I find when he wakes up he usually has worked very hard to get his hands loose and is in a completely different position; often with his foot stuck between the slats.
He has been rolling over since birth but can do it with ease now.
He loves to snuggle and sleep on your lap.
Not a big fan of pacifiers.
Fusses and chews on his hand often. Still doesn’t have enough hand control to get toys in his mouth (I think his sister did by this age).
LOVES to stand and is very, very good at it. Needs little support.
Almost too large for the carseat.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Life has been hectic

So I will catch up later. But here are some pics of the kidlets.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers

This week my husband has been out of town Monday-Friday. Last week Wednesday-Thursday. The week prior Tuesday-Thursday. After next week, he is gone on a 10 day backpacking trip. Things have been rough is what I'm saying. He usually doesn't get home that early, but he did drop off. Drop off AND pick up are a LOT. For ME anyway.

We've had a mouse epidemic at work. It's an old building and they run around and poop on my desk and in my overhead bins. I put all of my food in my car ever evening. It has become cooler here and this is the time they start nesting. Good times. Need to get some traps in my basement too.

Baby is so much fun! He rolls over like crazy, talks and coos and yaps. I started him on food a little bit early. He screamed the first time but has taken to it very well now. He kicks his legs while he is being fed out of excitement. Last night he loved rice cereal and squash.

I'm going to take a week off and visit my mom. With the kids of course. Then I am going to have two days to declutter this house. It's a disaster. Too small kids clothes, worn out underwear and socks, piles of paper. That's not even the garage or basement. We;ve decided we are going to get ready to move to a different house. One with a first or second floor laundry and a second full bathroom would be fabulous!

V is addicted to Shrek. My husband bought her the entire four DVD set for her birthday. Ugh. Too much.

For more Friday Night Leftovers visit Danifred: At:

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Pictures from a weekend

We stayed home this weekend. THe baby didn't let me get tons of great sleep. We had some friends over to play games and eat ribs. Their daughter and our daughter trashed the playroom. I tried the baby on some rice cereal which ended in him screaming and hating it. I was so surprised! The weather was crummy and humid. Blah! I've been playing around on Instagram. It's kind of fun.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Never forget

Can I tell you how much I love these darn kids? Yes, kids. With an S. I have two. If you go back to the beginning of my blog you will read when I couldn't have any. Both were surprises. Now I have two. Let me repeat that. NOW I HAVE TWO!

Friday I was driving to pick up the kids after work and missing working out after work. Then I started laughing. I have two kids! Two kids and a husband that I adore (I never thought I would get married and never dated much).


It's great to put things into perspective, isn't it?

Monday, August 13, 2012

Happy 4th Birthday!

Happy 4th Birthday!

We are fairly lax this year. I blame it on the new baby and being back to work. Is that fair? P took V camping on her actual birthday. His family was up North camping and it was really easy for them to just run up and stay. She was so excited about staying in a tent! Eating smores! They had a nice time but both were super crabby when they arrived home last night. Last Thursday, I sent cookies and little ice cream cups to daycare (36 of them to be exact). There are 12 kids in her immediate group, but more share her area so I wanted to make sure they were included too. Her teacher had her wear a little crown and sticker all day (see picture – we were in MD office, but she wouldn’t take it off) which made her feel very important. Her birthday party is the 26th and we are planning on having it at a trampoline place. It just opened.

Victoria is:
Obsessed with Shrek lately (I despise it).
Having horrific GI problems that have tried all of us to the depths of our being
Sleeps from 9ish – 7:15ish and now taking a nap at daycare
Likes to brush her teeth with her new glowing timer toothbrush
Is not interested in toys currently
Loves to swing. Could swing for hours.
Refuses to pedal her cute princess bike
Talks nonstop when she is excited
Likes her tap dance class but misses gymnastics
Still hates animals and is terrified of dogs
Favorite foods are probably hot dogs, chips, mac and cheese
Asks constantly for snacks or to have a movie put on. Constantly. Will repeat herself multiple times.
Calls her brother “brudder”
Still only had one tiny haircut

Friday, August 10, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers

* Thus finishes my 3rd week back to work. Benny will be 3 months old on Monday and I miss him so darn much. My daughter too. :( _______________________________________________________________________________ * Today my baby is FOUR YEARS OLD! Her dad took her camping Up North with his family. They didn't realize that it was her birthday weekend. We are going to celebrate on the 26th. Doing what, I'm not sure yet! Was thinking about Chuck E Cheese (any advice - good or bad?). _______________________________________________________________________________ * This weekend I was going to just hang out with the baby, love on him, and watch TV. My mom invited herself down (and is bringing my mentally impaired nephew). I guess I'll be carting them around everywhere now. _______________________________________________________________________________ * Working on my performance evaluation at work. I hate doing performance evals. They fill me with dread and anxiety. I have to review goals, etc. Ugh. It was put off because I was out on leave. ________________________________________________________________________________ * I'm ready for fall. Leaves, cooler evenings, warm days, fallen leaves, pumpkin everything, tights, sweatshirts. _________________________________________________________________________________ * Been craving pizza. Unfortunately it has to be Gluten Free and it is a huge pain in the butt. For more Friday Night Leftovers, visit Danifred:

Monday, August 6, 2012

12 weeks

I love this kid so much. He laughs and coos and kicks and smiles. He likes to be held. Constantly. All the time. Especially if he is tired. He loves to sleep on someone. He hates all containment devices - swing, Mamaroo, bouncy seat and can tolerate them for 5-10 minutes while I run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get something done. He takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon and sleeps 10-6:30 with no or one awakening. I can't complain too much. What did I do without him? (taken with my IPAD, lighting is bad).

Friday, July 27, 2012

A Thursday Recap

Yesterday started out well. I left work at 12:00, drove over to pick up the baby, came home and ate lunch with one hand while I held him. At 3:30, I had to take him for immunizations since he was already behind being almost 11 weeks. I am not anti-immunizations, but I do believe they give too many at once and that it is a lot for a little one’s immune system to uptake. Thus, I like to space them out on an alternate schedule. When I made the appointment with the medical assistant, I specified that I wanted the oral rotavirus and the Bordella pertussis (whooping cough). That is one injection combined with polio and one of the Hepatitis vaccines. When I got to the office Benny made a giant poop in the waiting room. (Oh my gosh can that kid poop!). The nurse came out and winced at the smell and told him I had to change him in the bathroom and NOT the exam room because the smell was making her “nauseous”. (I think she just had a gastric bypass). It was a HUGE blowout and it took me a long time to clean him up and change into a new outfit (especially since I forgot the wipes!). She kept knocking on the door to ask if I was done. Then I double checked with her regarding which shots he was getting. She said she prepared all the 2 month shots (3 injections and one oral) and no one told her otherwise, that these others would be wasted. I informed that I was extremely clear when I scheduled and that she should have checked with me prior to prepping them. I’m fully aware of all the vaccinations since I am a Microbiologist by training. She then tried to bully and ridicule my alternate schedule and left the room exasperated. I almost left I was so angry. A medical assistant came in, gave him his two scheduled vaccinations and we left. What a crappy experience. ___________________________________________________________________________ We then went to Target to get diapers, etc. As we were in the checkout line, a 40-ish year old man walked by pushing a cart, leaned into my baby’s sleeping face, and shouted “wake up”. WHAT THE HELL? I was in the middle of paying and was so shocked, I didn’t do anything. He walked away very quickly. The baby didn’t wake up, thank goodness. HOW DO I ATTRACT THESE PEOPLE? __________________________________________________________________________ We picked up V and she is signed up for a special five week tap dance class which she loves. At the end of class she came out (it is closed door which I do not like for 3-5 year olds) and the teacher came out and told me she tried to spit on another student. For the love of Jesus!!! What was she thinking? I was so embarrassed and the other mothers heard. I felt like were judging me. Why does my kid have to act up? ___________________________________________________________________________ To top off the evening, V has had fecal leakage for weeks. I’m pretty sure she has encopresis. Dear Lord, I don’t want her to suffer. Thank Goodness it is FRIDAY!

Monday, July 23, 2012


I"m back at work today. I miss my little bugger and have been reading through 1100 emails. I even read and deleted some while I was off. Ugh.

Saturday, July 7, 2012


P's niece is a budding photographer. She took these pics on a whim (hence the bad clothes) but I think they are really nice and show her talent. My MIL put the onsie on Benny, I'm not a huge fan of brown.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers - Absent Mother Edition

1. It has been a long time! Been meaning to blog and things are crazy. Including a baby that dos not want to be set down. Right now he is sleeping on the couch with the sides of his head being enclosed by a Boppy Pillow. That is why my hands are free! __________________________________________________________________________________ 2. We've been gone a lot. I was up visiting my hometown for five days (it was a long 4 hour drive - more like 6) with a toddler and screamy infant. The weather was amazing though. 75 F, sunny, breeze from Lake Huron. V and I did playground time and I did some morning walks by myself. Nice. Then we went to P's hometown on Lake Michigan over the 4th of July. It was really, really hot. Thank goodness we got a Motel room and did not roast with no air conditioning in the older-ladies-house-that-refuse-to-open-a-window-because-they-think-it-is-cooler-but-it-is-stuffy-like-an-oven. __________________________________________________________________________________ 3. My (crazy) sister's husband moved out. Oh the drama. There has been a LOT OF DRAMA, did I say that? I feel bad for my mom because my BIL helped her with a lot of things, and now she has to find a combination son/handyman. __________________________________________________________________________________ 4. I am still feeling fat! I have down about 18 lbs since I delivered, but there are 10 stubborn pounds that are not yet leaving. I haven't been back to the gym due to lack of babysitting and .the fact that my C section area is still pretty sore. I need to tone up and nicer weather so I can do even more walking. __________________________________________________________________________________ 5. My braces are off! After almost five years. I think I am the patient with the longest time in braces at my Orthodontist's office. They took them off because my teeth were beginning to decay due to the hardware (3 cavaties and counting :( ). I'm in retainers that thankfully have false teeth in the open spaces, so it looks good. Did you know retainers aren't metal anymore? They are clear, thin, plastic trays. My next surgery is scheduled for October. It's for bone grafting on my upper jaw. It is under general anesthesia in the OR, something I'm not too thrilled about. __________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Benjamin is still up in the night once or twice. V was sleeping through the night at this age. Ugh. I go back to work in two weeks and am a bit concerned about it. For more leftovers see:

Friday, June 8, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers - New Baby Edition

* Baby is a month old on Monday! I can't believe it. * All the kid does is eat. Seriously. He ate six oz in the night last night. I'm concerned about overfeeding, but he is starving! * He smiled at me today. Plus a half smile for sister. * I am still having a LOT of pain where I had the two spinal/epidurals for the C section. That hurts worse than the C section incision. * He is wearing size 1 diapers and size 0-3 months cloths. He sure went through the newborn clothes quickly! His sister was in newborn clothes for 5 months. * He needs very little head support. And he can roll on his side easily. The kid is strong. Very strong. * Been referring to him as "Benny". * He is a screamer. I think he has a little touch of colic. He screams 15-20 min around 7:30 pm each night. If he is hungry then he screams until the food is placed in his mouth. He also has bad gas. Smelly gas. * Can't believe I'm doing this again. Loving it! *

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Happy Anniversary

12 years! Wow. Despite the hectic time, we are going to steal away for martinis and lunch.

Saturday, June 2, 2012


How are we doing? We are doing okay. Victoria is doing well with her new brother. She tries to touch him constantly. One day she put her squeeze applesauce package in his mouth, and then put a doll bottle in his mouth which he sucked away happily on, expecting milk. She desperately wants to play with him. When he screams (and he is a screamer), she laughs this sinister laugh. I think she is just so excited that he is doing something. Her teacher reports that she talks about him constantly. The best: Victoria: "... has a brother and Mary has two sisters. I have a brother".

Monday, May 21, 2012

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

He's here

Benjamin Louis is here! 8 lbs 4 oz via csection (ugh). He's cutE and smooshy and an eating machine! I'm doing pretty well, going home today. Will get a picture up.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers - 39 weeks edition

* I went to the MD Wednesday and demanded P come with me. Which is good since we had some discussions. If I don't go into labor by May 14th, a C-section is scheduled for that morning. My regular OB is not available that day, but we didn't want to be #4 on May 17th, so we took that slot. If I do go into labor prior to this, I will be attempting a VBAC. Send vibes my way please. * My skin is so incredibly itchy. Everywhere. It keeps me up at night. Weird places like my ankles and wrists itch too. Ugh. Going to lather up with Cetaphil tonight. Feels like my skin is on fire. * Had some nausea today and felt crummy. Couldn't nap during the day, so went through a bunch of baby stuff and now have five additional bags of V's stuff for Goodwill and one large bin for the resale shop. She can be hard on staining clothes. * My husband has been working a lot again. 9:00 pm working. With a sick, pregnant wife, Ugh. When he is home he does bath and stories. Miss that when he isn't here. So does V. Him too of course. * Been spending lots of time on Zillow looking at bigger houses. Wow. Some nice places out there. Some have a pool. I've always wanted a pool. Has anyone has/have a pool? Wondering how the maintenance and all that was. For more Friday Night Leftovers:

Thursday, April 26, 2012

38 weeks

Yesterday I had my 37/38 week OB appointment. After V's birth I had switched to another OB in the practice, because I thought the one I had for her did not manage me well at the end and let me go too long. Well, I saw him yesterday, as my current OB was unavailable. He was the one that we saw when P and I had the first ultrasound and big shock of me being pregnant at 8 weeks. So he knows me. After V was born and my FSH was really high, he agreed that I couldn't have more kids and really didn't recommend much in the way of birth control. He was surprised to see me again to say the least. Did a quick ultrasound, no cervical check, baby head down and firmly wedged in my pelvis. Heartbeat good, possibly high 6 lbs in weight. He also said if I didn't go into Labor in the next two weeks, I pretty much bought myself a C section. So try and get myself into Labor. I ate some pineapple today and feel strange. I had V with me during the appointment and everyone kept calling her my mini-me. I am totally 100% terrified of Labor/Delivery after the very bad experience I had with V. It makes me sick to think about it and I know I have to deal with it. The uncertainty of what is going to happen is really scary for me. On a side note: I have access to my medical records. The OB I saw yesterday reviewed my records during the 2nd hospitalization I had recently. He said some not very nice things about me that make me paranoid about him being on call when I give birth. Great. It also hurt my feelings. I had a good cry about it.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


What do you think of these names? Our last name sounds like "Johnson". The trendy names ending in "n" don't really work.


Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers - sick edition

* I've been meaning to write. But I've been ill. Really ill. I was unable to get off the couch after my last stint in the hospital, then I ended up in triage later one evening getting hydration. It was hell this time. The nurses were unkind, my husband was tired, I had dry heaves, had to have three attempts at IV placement. My sole goal since then is to stay hydrated and out of the hospital. Oh yes, I'm written off work because I've also lost 10 lbs due to anorexia, dehydration, nausea, dizziness, fatigue.
* I'm supposed to eat or drink anything I want.
* P's work is stressing me out. He has a big project due April 23rd. He works until 8 or 9 each evening and says this is his last weekend to work. My mom came down over Easter so he could work on Good Friday and Easter Saturday.
* I've been sleeping in the chair an extra two hours per day. Not so well at night.
* After all the warm weather it became pretty cold here.
* I miss work and socialization. I'm kind of depressed, actually.
* The baby is fine by the way. I should have said that first. Just mama having a hard time.

For more Friday Night Leftovers visit Danifred -

Friday, March 30, 2012

I'm home

Last Tuesday and Wednesday I felt like hell. Slight headache and dizziness between my eyes, complete anorexia, stomach pains, fatigue, crying fits. Thursday I dragged myself in to work, feeling terrible. Oh, and P was in Indiana all week. My mom decided to come down and help me because P was scheduled to have a guy's weekend he had planned (not good timing) and knew I needed help and didn't want me to be alone. Friday/Saturday I was fine. Saturday we ran all over the country shopping and walked to the playground with V. Sunday am at church I got that little headache and dizziness behind my eyes. Lots of nausea. By 1:30 pm, My head hurt so badly, and I was nauseous enough that I had a pillow over my head on the couch.

I took a Zofran and a Tylenol with no avail. By this time P was finally home. My entire head was on fire, I couldn't open my eyes, the side of my face was numb and tingly, and I never felt like this before, ever. I thought I may have been having some sort of stroke. I finally called OB triage about 7:00 pm and of COURSE they told me to come in. My mother was there pushing V in the swing and I hastily threw some things in a bag. Thank goodness we didn't have to make arrangements for me.

When I got there the OB triage midwife was very nice. Thankfully the baby was fine and looked "beautiful" on the monitor. I was contracting every 3-4 minutes, had ketones in my urine, and they felt I was dehydrated. They started an IV and the attending OB came in and expressed concern since I have not had anything like this before, ever. They wanted to perform a Head MRI, of which I am unable due to the large amount of metal in my skull/mouth from dental surgery. So they took me to CT and heavily shielded the baby. I informed the two techs I couldn't lay on my back. Of course they didn't listen and I kept yelling at them as I went into the scan that I had to vomit. Of which I did all over. The nurse from Triage brought down Zofran and we tried again. Same thing. Another nurse visit and more Zofran. Same thing. Finally a bolus of Benadryl knocked me out. I ended up sending P home by this time - 1:30 am.

Back in the room, they moved me to a regular room and started giving me Compazine, prednisone, and Fiorocet. My blood pressure was really low - 69/49 ish. My head was still killing me and so they started Fioracet (sp?) for migraines. Neurology came and saw me and people were in and out of the room all night. The scan showed nothing unusual except a thickened optic nerve.

To shorten the story, I was kept for the next two days. Fioracet lowered my headache from an 8/10 to a 3ish/10. P worked the next two days and my mother has no sense of direction and was taking care of things around the house, so I was on my own up at the hospital. I was too ill to get lonely. Opthamology came and saw me and basically thought my vision was okay. They aren't sure of the significance of the optic nerve nor can really decide what was wrong. So they are calling it a migraine. Neurology thought maybe it was a small brain bleed that sealed itsself up.

I haven't been able to work all week. There is still nausea and light headaches and fatigue. My husband is super busy at work and we are struggling at this challenging time. He wants to work all weekend and I understand the pressure he is under. I feel crummy still though. Typing this has tired me out.

The important thing is that the baby looks great and I am doing a bit better.

Monday, March 26, 2012


In the hospital. Baby fine. Severe headache, bought I had a stroke but thankfully not. May go home today, may not.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers

* The weather has been glorious here (well, except for the areas where the tornado rolled through). I had to find spring coats, short sleeve shirts, and the biggest challenge - something maternity that fits and is lighter (thank goodness V was a summer pregnancy). We've been outside every evening just enjoying the goodness.
* My tulips are coming up!
* I don't ever remember it being this warm, this early in the year.
* P wants to look at minivans. Can you imagine fitting a double stroller and assorted junk in the Edge (I adore my Edge)? It's difficult because the only American branded minivans on the market are the two Chryslers. GM and Ford have killed their lines. We are not huge Chrysler fans. Sorry to offend anyone. Considering a Ford Flex, but the sliding doors on a minivan would be great in the garage, wouldn't they?
* Hunger Games movie is out next weekend. I can't wait!
* P got a promotion and raise at work. I'm very proud of him.
* This morning at my work is going by so slowly. I had to be here at 7:00 am for a meeting and the morning is just dragging on. Usually it is time to go home before I know it!
* 32 weeks pregnant today. With my second. Gosh, that is foreign sounding.

For more leftovers, visit Danifred.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

New School Update

V loves her new school. She has a new friend, smaller class sizes, a hom-ier atmosphere, extra attention, and new activities. On the plus size, I don't have to make lunch and she is forced to eat things that I wouldn't make her eat, like meatloaf and fish. In addition, she naps there. She never napped at the old school; I'm not sure why. She has had one potty accident in the last two weeks. She had them daily at the old school. She is being attended to and reminded, which I love! She comes home excited and Saturday even asked, "are we going to Miss Debra's today"? which surprised me.

There are some things I miss about the old school. The spacious parking lot, the sign in/out area, the other parents, seeing and knowing the other children. We also received a daily sheet there with what exactly our child ate and how long they napped. We don't get that at the new school; I always ask about the nap at least.

I am thrilled at how well she is doing there. Plus, it is $180 a month cheaper.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

30 weeks

and I am FEELING IT.

Last Tuesday I went to the OB for my 28 week, really 29 week check up. P came with me. I don't her I haven't been feeling so great, really tired, lots of back pain. I told her I think I'm anemic, but she declined to check my iron. When are MD's going to LISTEN to me? I gained 5 lbs in the last month for a total gain of 19 lbs. She said if I continued to gain at that rate, I will be above the 25-35 limit. What? I have 10 weeks to go. I felt she was rude about it, P thought I was overreacting. We discussed VBAC vs. a 2nd planned C-section. She had this formula that she plugged certain things into and came up with a number of my success with VBAC - mine was 58%. Great. I still think we are going to go for it. The VBAC that is. I asked what position the kid was in (I think still frank breech) but she just told me where the head was. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't like her. The bad thing is that is way too late to do anything about it. Whether it is justified or not, she has me CONSTANTLY anxious about the weight gain. Constantly. I don't eat any differently. I exercise four times a week. My diet is healthy with occasional treats. The weight thing is giving me a LOT OF ADDED STRESS. A LOT. In all likelihood she won't deliver my baby since she is part time; but the weight thing has sucked a bit of joy out of this pregnancy to be 100% honest.

So back to the VBAC - I haven't ever written V's birth story on this blog. It was too traumatic and difficult. But I did leave the hospital with a healthy baby, and that is all that counts, right? The recovery from a C-section, an emergency C-section, a C-section after days of labor is not easy. Avoiding that would be really great.

Anyway, I've really slowed down this pregnancy and I just can't get comfortable. In the car, on the couch, in bed, in my chair at work. My back is so painful some days and the top of my uterus feels like it is suffocating me. I'm hanging in there and I'm grateful. I really am. I apologize for complaining, I think it is hormones contributing. The back pain was nonexistent with V, with this kid I am carrying straight out, not low like with her. Wow, what a difference.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


This was written on the daycare/school sheet yesterday:

“Victoria talked about having a baby in her belly”.


Speaking of daycare/school, we are preparing to make a switch to a new place. I’m both sad and excited about it. She has been at the same “school” aka daycare center since she was 8 weeks old. The benefits of the place is that it is very convenient for both of us to pick up/drop off, it is sparkling clean, there is a little indoor gym and ample outdoor play area, they have a good curriculum, and she has met so many nice little friends there. The negatives are that for the amount of $$$ that we pay, we just aren’t seeing the return from the price premium. She has been left in wet/soiled underwear, there are 24 kids in her class, they do not provide lunch or breakfast (I have to make lunch every night which actually takes a lot of time), the teachers are so busy at the end of the day that they don’t have time to talk, they aren’t consistent with transfers to new classrooms, often violating their own ranges set out. The big push to move her was finding her poopy/peed up and being left that way several times. When I walked in I could immediately smell it, so you can’t tell me they couldn’t. I had a talk with the director because I was furious about this. It’s just basic care.

I originally put down a deposit for the new baby to start in July. Both kids would have run us major beaucoup $$$$ a month there. Yikes! I could understand if she was receiving extra exceptional care, but I don’t think she is currently. So I decided to check out what else was out there. I found a very close home daycare/school that takes only 30 children; there would be 12 in her class. They only take 3-4 infants. I went and checked it out and P did too. We both liked it. Plus, they provide breakfast if necessary and lunches AND it is $500 less a month. For both kids. That is a lot of $$$. There is no TV, outdoor play, and they too have a Pre-K program. So we decided to go for it. I made P tell the owner, I just couldn’t do it. March 1st she starts at the new place. I’m concerned. Transitions are difficult for her. I think she has some of mama’s anxiety issues. But P is going to take her and get her situated. I’m hoping we made a wise decision . I will miss the other kids and parents at the old daycare, but hopefully the new ones are friendly.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

3 1/2 years old!

A quick Iphone pic before gymnastics this morning... She has more hair now, but not much more.

and for comparison - 2.5 years old:

1.5 years old.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

hard time

It's no secret that my husband works a lot. He never has had a 9-5 job. But since the new year, things have even taken a worse turn. He was gone for 10 days on a business trip. Then, he has worked every single weekend from at least 11-8 both days. It's been rough. By the time he gets home I am exhausted and tired and hormonal and crabby. It's lonely being in charge and by yourself every single night. Sometimes he makes it home for bedtime, and I'm grateful for that 30 min when I can race around and make lunches or sweep the kitchen floor. It's lonely without my husband. There is no pregnancy pampering, no food rubs, or special meals, or naps on weekend afternoons. It stinks BIG TIME. He promises this project will be completed mid February, and that he will take us on a long weekend trip. My daughter misses him. I miss him. Plus I worry about his health. Working 75-80 hours per week is NOT good for him. At all.

It's difficult to keep up. I interviewed a new cleaning lady and she wanted to charge me $125 a week for three hours of cleaning, plus an additional $95 the first two weeks for a deep clean. Uhm, no. Then I had a message today on my cell that she "thought about it, and it would only be $75". It made me think she was trying to see what she could get away with. Why is it so difficult to find a cleaning lady???? I liked the work our last one did, but I honestly think she was on drugs. She even went to the WRONG HOUSE after a year of working for us. I had to let her go.

In the pregnancy department, I'm getting enormous. My OB chastised me because I gained 4 lbs last must instead of three. I wish I was lying. Since I can't tolerate the Glucola drink, I have to test my sugar for a week. Good times. These pants make me look huge. I am not that huge, honestly.

25 weeks

Tuesday I was leaving for work and P called down me that he thought V had a fever. She did. 102 F. Ugh. I stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday took her to the MD where she was found to have an ear infection. Antibiotics. Plus she still had the fever and Thursday Daddy had to stay home with her. She fell asleep for 10 whole minutes one afternoon. Now we all have coughs.

Sunday, January 29, 2012


V has been super moody and whiny the past few weeks. I attribute it to a new room at school, her Daddy being gone so much, her tummy troubles, and of course, the baby. This weekend, she was a complete angel. We went in Trader Joe's today to grab a few things and I encouraged her to push the little mini cart around. She LOVED it. She kept up with me and was a huge help. She kept trying to put stuff in HER cart though. Such as vitamins (for "Daddy"), a beef roast of some sort, cereal, and a whole bunch of bananas. You can see the giant bag of pretzels she picked out too. It was very crowded, but I tried to grab a quick photo (her good coat and hat was in the wash, that is why she looks kooky!).

Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers

I started working on another program at work because mine is sooo slooowww. It was initially met with apprehension, but I think things are going well and I am enjoying it.

My husband is finally back from a 10 day trip. Things went pretty well. Victoria watched a lot of Dora. Doing both drop off and pick up to school stunk though. I felt guilty about the TV but she is at school all day, I’m pregnant and tired, and it’s 7 degrees out. And we did lots of other things too.

Before I had kids I didn’t believe in TV, unhealthy foods, my kid would be potty trained prior to two. Whatever.

V’s newest obsessions are dancing, watching Umi Zoomi and Dora, clementines, ice packs (for imaginary injuries), and jumping on beds.

Trying to decide if I should run out to Whole Foods at lunch. I have lunch but it would save me a trip there on a weekend for some Gluten Free stuff I need. But it 10 degrees.

The “boy” has been moving like crazy. Especially as I get ready to fall asleep. Can’t believe I’m 25 weeks into another pregnancy! WHAT?!?! P says I need to stop referring to myself as “infertile”. I don’t know, do I? Am I not considered infertile anymore?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


I am constantly hungry. I eat breakfast and 90 min later I am hungry. This morning in the hallway at work I smelled cinnamon. So I started craving cinnamon rolls. It has to be 6 years since I had one. Then someone was heating up Italian for lunch and I started craving spaghetti and meatballs (which I never have, because of gluten I have to make from scratch). At lunch I was craving a ham and cheese sandwich. Then later in the day I wanted some coconut rice and right now I desperately want some proper British fish and chips.

My mouth is salivating just thinking about food....

Friday, January 6, 2012

Friday Night Leftovers

• It is warm out today! 48 F. So far it has been a mild winter. It was this way last year as well, but February almost made up for it.
• Going back to work this week after being off for 10 days has been rough. On all of us. Including Victoria. Early rising coupled with an inability to sleep due to some crazy pregnancy thing makes me tired and cranky.
• I read five books over the holiday break and it was so nice! I read two about North Korea – one about the last American defector from the Korean War and one called “Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea” which follows six people that trace their lives in North Korea and eventually end up defecting. It’s very, very insightful and well written. I also finally read “The Hunger Games” trilogy. I loved them all, but the first book stood out as the most outstanding.
• I went through all of the infant clothes for V to see what was salvageable for the BOY. Those things were a stained, worn out mess. I ended up trashing a good many of her 0-3 month stuff (she didn’t have a lot), giving the less worn to GoodWill, taking few things to the consignment shop, and giving some things to a friend. Time to start shopping for the BOY.
• Did you notice BOY clothes are all brown and green and have a lot of sports themed stuff on them? My husband isn’t very sporty, so this may be a problem.
• I am eating leftover tortilla chips from yesterday from Chipotle. They are so good. How do they get that lime taste on them?
• Went to the OB Tuesday. I’ve gained 9 lbs at 22 weeks. She said it was “appropriate” but to watch it.

For more Friday Night Leftovers, see Danifred.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A glimpse back at 2011