Thursday, November 8, 2012


V was a very good natured baby. She liked to snuggle, rarely cried, and slept through the night starting at 4 weeks. Early toddlerhood she was quite good natured as well and routinely slept until 8ish on weekends. My big concern at this time is that she would bite, usually only me. Around 2.5 years she became a bit more outspoken and active and since she turned four there have been some concerns.

She has been having some weird anxieties after she turned three. She is terrified of animals, especially dogs. A dog will be walking on a leash on the opposite side of the street from her and she will “freak out”, crying and whining. A trip to the zoo when she was three was a source of stress and anxiety for her. For the last month she has been waking up early crying and afraid of the dark. She has multiple nightlight sources in her room, so it really isn’t that dark. You also have to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep (which can take upwards of 30 minutes).

Also in the last month or so has been the hair twirling. I understand that hair twirling is a self-soothing behavior and not out of the norm for her age. However, she has been doing constantly and obsessively. P told me last night he thought she was pulling it out too. She has had some rages where she screams and cries and hits me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and hit me. I’ve tried talking to her, time outs, spanking, taking away priviledges & toys, giving her more attention, giving her less attention. Nothing seems to work. She is having some sort of major anxiety issues. She has become very defiant and just will not obey or listen. Many things are a major argument with her, like washing her hands and using the toilet.

The crazy thing – absolutely no issues at school. When I pick her up, she starts to act up and tantrum. I think she has held it together all day, and now it is all coming out. I understand some things like the jibberish talking is most likely related to the new baby. (she constantly talks jibberish, especially at the baby and constantly bothers him, getting in his face, taking his toys). I’ve caught her on several occasions trying to hurt the baby – squeezing his hand and foot really hard, hitting him on the back. It’s incredibly stressful and I’m so darn tired of not trusting her around him. I can’t turn my back for one second on her. I have to push and drag her away from him often because she just won’t stop her behavior or listen to me.

I’ve called to get some behavior services for the anxiety, but they can’t get her in until February!! I’ve called two other places and they both haven’t gotten back to me. This is difficult to talk about, but I don’t want my little one to be so scared and worried and stressed and I need some help with coping and I think she does as well.


The Captain's Wife said...

honestly, I think it's her age. K has 99% of the same characteristics. watch the anxiety, hair pulling, because if that continues it will need to be addressed. but the other stuff...totally the same as K. I really think the new babies in their lives, the amount of attention they get, and the amount of times we say "wait" "in a minute" "we can't right now, because of the baby", makes them act out like this.

As much as K loves S I find at times that she gets a bit rough and aggressive with him, grabbing his head or wrists or ankles and yelling in his face. She stops when I say something, but like you, I wiuldn't dare leave her alone with him. I don't think she wants to hurt him, but I know she doesn't know her strength.

So hugs, know you are not alone.

Anonymous said...

Jen, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope V can find some assistance to get through this rough patch.


Alisha said...

Hey jen, sorry you and v are going through this. I think you are wise to have an appt--how aggravating it's not until Feb! Maybe she feels a bit pushed out by her new brother--maybe she feels she needs more time with you--after being at school all day and then having a little brother to split time with after she gets home. I don't know :(. So sorry.