Friday, October 28, 2011

The fallout

Yesterday I was supposed to have the final surgery in my “dental transformation”. It was cancelled for other medical reasons (more on that later). Today is exactly 7 months since my jaw surgery. Wow, my recovery has been complicated, fatiguing, disappointed, and sometimes exciting. Do I look different. Yes, I very much do. Does anyone else think I look different? No, not really. Except my boss. Do I like the way I look now? No and yes.

I had planned on being off three weeks and was off closer to six. First the good: My teeth come together for the first time in my life. My pointy witch’s chin is gone (mainly from the first surgery). I have teeth on the lower bottom center now (mainly from the 2nd & 3rd surgeries). I can gently bite into things. When I smile you can see both my upper and lower teeth like a normal person. The main thing or “fallout” if you will from the surgery was that my left inferior aveloar nerve was cut. In half. By the saw used to cut through my jaw bone. It rests in the middle of the spongy bone, which is packed by hard bone on each side. Apparently I had no spongy bone and it was something they had never seen before, so they didn’t know to expect it. When they told me this after surgery, I was drugged up and just kind of blew it off, thinking it would be numb-ish for a while. And it was. Now it burns and tingles, prickly through the numbness. It’s painful to touch. I think another facial nerve was injured too, because I have some burning/itching up into my left ear on that side. I pray to God constantly that doesn’t turn out to be TG (I don’t even want to say the words).

The chin is a pain. I can’t really put on lipstick or chapstick because it is so uncomfortable to touch it. It is uncomfortable to kiss. I drop food out of my mouth when I eat and often when drinking out of a bottle or can, the fluid dribbles right out of my mouth. It is difficult to chew with my mouth closed. I am constantly checking my chin & lip area to make sure there is no food stuck there because I can’t feel anything. I can’t whistle. I can’t blow bubbles. My speech was pretty slurred for a while. I discussed this with the surgeon, and he wanted to start me Neurotin, because he thought it would help. I didn’t start it yet. This really stinks and I try so hard to be positive about it. They think/hope it will get better with time.

Would I have the surgery again? Honestly I don’t think so.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Halloween is rapidly approaching. V has a large number of activities this year to attend. This weekend a neighboring town has Trick Or Treating downtown (Oct 23rd) Her school usually has a little party where you go to each room in costume and get a prize (no candy) (Oct 26th). There is the community center Trick Or Treat parade (Oct 28th), which we waited in line for over an hour last year and she loved, and the neighbor’s church is having a little party (Oct 30th), and regular Trick Or Treating (Oct 31st) of course. I don’t know if we will make it to everything. V is much more into candy this year, but it is not about the candy, it is about having fun, and she likes to do that as well.

I loved Halloween as a kid. It really wasn’t about the candy (really!). The time of year was always nice, I loved feeling special dressing up in costume (even though many in the 1970’s were those cheap plastic get ups and I longed for a mother that would sew elaborate costumes), there was usually a party at school, there was always a community pumpkin decorating contest which I managed to win a prize in every year grades 1-8 (seriously), and my mother was usually in a good mood that holiday (since she hates holidays and this has ruined many). My dad would take my sister and I trick Or treating and we just would always have such a nice time.

V’s really warm pumpkin costume still fits from last year. It was freezing here on Halloween last year and I was glad to have it. I also found this chintzy looking Jesse costume at a mom’s sale that she loves to wear around the house. It’s too big and not cute enough IMHO, but I have another costume that she will model shortly.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Trying Times

Last week was... well, a week. We got home from vacation on Saturday night. Sunday we regrouped and put away suitcases and all that stuff. Monday was Monday. Tuesday afternoon I spent at the doctor - the entire afternoon discussing some stuff. Stuff that I cannot share just yet, but I will in the near future. I missed lunch that day and was in full meltdown mode by 4:30. I promptly drove to FiveGuys Burgers and Fries where they have bunless burgers and gluten free fries. OMGosh that place could become an addiction. When I picked up V at school, she had episodes of diarrhea that day. Remember, she has had diarrhea almost every day since September 21st. On vacation, she was having up to 8 soilings a day. School was pissed. I took her home and she seemed tired, but okay. We still have no fridge but I bought my junky, dented dorm fridge home from under my desk and now at least WE HAVE SOME CHEESESTICKS AND SOME DAMN COOL DRINKS.

Wednesday I kept her home (this is the 3rd day in three weeks due to this damn diarrhea). It will stop for two days, but just keeps going on and on. The doctor was useless and I had to strongly suggest to test the stool samples I brought. Thursday she was good, but Friday had a massive, diaper filling soft stool (she is potty trained, but I have her back in diapers because she cannot control this diarrhea). I called her allergist and they didn't think it sounded like a food intolerance. When we went to the ER in Maine, they thought it sounded just like a food intolerance. I'm afraid it is celiac or something. She hasn't grown much in the past year and actually lost 1.5 lbs at her three year visit. She has been diarrhea free this weekend but I guarantee it will be back tomorrow. Oh, all the stool samples (culture, CDiff, gram stain, etc) were all negative.

To top it off, she has had this majorly horrible cough at night. She has difficult to deal with, super whiny, tantrumy, sassy, lots of hitting. Also, terrible breath.
Thursday I finally made it to work. Friday was somewhat better. Then my husband went out of town this weekend. I am really looking forward to things calming the HELL down over here.