Tuesday, November 16, 2010

another IF post

Another infertility post. Believe me, I am not sitting around thinking about this stuff all time. I am busy enjoying my little girl! But it hits me in little ways throughout the days. Thursday when I picked up V, I saw a little boy's mother I hadn't seen in a while. She was visibly pregnant. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Yesterday when I picked her up, there was another mother with a child in her class that was visibly pregnant. I just resigned myself this time. I told P last week and he listened, which made me feel better. He remarked that V was the perfect age - aka the age in which most people have their 2nd kid. In fact, V is the only 1 of 2 children in her room of 12 -16 kids (it interchanges) that is an only child. The other kid's parents look overwhelmed, so I don't know if it is an infertility issue. She just doesn't have the hungry longing in her eyes.
The fact that I conceived one child does not mean that I can conceive another. Even with help. To take a "glass half full" approach - that's okay! I had my Victoria, which is an incredible gift. Still trying to come to terms.

7 comments:

Searching for Serenity said...

You're certainly not alone in those feelings. I try to remind myself daily to be grateful, yet hopeful that it will happen again.

It's a delicate balance.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you can appreciate what you have! But that longing never goes away. May you find peace.

Greta

Alisha said...

Oh, previous poster Greta, please do not say that "longing" never goes away. Acceptance for me must include some sort of removal of the sorrowful "longing!"

Still hoping this cycle worked for me. And hoping for you, too!

strongblonde said...

it's so hard. in a way i feel "broken". even though i have two great kids, IF has definitely taken something from me, you know?

we need to plan to get together. :) we can commiserate!

MrsSpock said...

Even with #2 coming- I am still trying to wrestle with the desire for #3 when it seems completely unfeasible.

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