Santa Visit

I belong to a community group that hosts a children's Holiday Party each year. I don't do much with the group any more; it's morphed from stay-at-home moms with young children to older retired ladies. (I wish I could find a great mom's group that meets in the evenings). But I like the Holiday Party. Great time with Santa. V jumped up right on his lap this year and Benny just wasn't too sure.

*Disclaimer -This is the way her hair is looking since she has this chronic twisting problem and has broke it all off. I, in no universe would ever cut it that short.

Post-surgery

First was post-partum, now is post-surgery (four to be exact). Have two more to go - one major, one minor. no one things i look different except my old boss and my doctors. But I do.

Before:

Current after: ( I have on no eye makeup and I obviously have some extra chin skin, yuck).

post partum update

I’ve had some major bouts of depression in my life. Although it is under control, it has been a cross to bear since I was 19. In the past 8 or so years it has evolved more into an anxiety disorder. Panic attacks, hours of crying, obsessing worrying thoughts. I never am sure what exactly will set me off. The really bad episodes are once or twice a year. But I deal with it quite well in my opinion. Since I have the kids I really don’t have much time for it and I don’t want to set a bad example for them. They deserve calm mom. When V was born I was watched fairly closely for PPD. I had four days of baby blues approximately a week after she was born. Just a lot of crying and emotions. I always wanted to talk care of her, there was no disinterest. I think it was mostly the result of hormones, a difficult delivery, and a rough Csection recovery. It passed. With the 2nd, it’s been more insidious. Panic attacks here and there over COMPLETE NONSENSE THINGS. An inability to concentrate, chronic worry, obsessive worry. Things that two days later, I wonder what the HELL I was thinking! I went to talk someone and they felt it was Postpartum anxiety. They gave me some benzo’s which I am reluctant to take, but I take a ¼ of one (I would not be able to function on a whole dose!) and it helps clear the chest tightness and rests my mind.

I think I’m doing really well coping with it. It is definitely hormone related because my life is good! My husband is understanding and supportive. I always have to remember that this (meaning a rough time) will pass.

Here is a picture of the little man. He wants to move so badly. He lurched that exersaucer across the kitchen floor to get to me. He thought he was pretty clever too 

Smile

This was just after eating prunes for the first time. It's cold and dreary and dark out. So time for a smile ;)

Issues

V was a very good natured baby. She liked to snuggle, rarely cried, and slept through the night starting at 4 weeks. Early toddlerhood she was quite good natured as well and routinely slept until 8ish on weekends. My big concern at this time is that she would bite, usually only me. Around 2.5 years she became a bit more outspoken and active and since she turned four there have been some concerns.

She has been having some weird anxieties after she turned three. She is terrified of animals, especially dogs. A dog will be walking on a leash on the opposite side of the street from her and she will “freak out”, crying and whining. A trip to the zoo when she was three was a source of stress and anxiety for her. For the last month she has been waking up early crying and afraid of the dark. She has multiple nightlight sources in her room, so it really isn’t that dark. You also have to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep (which can take upwards of 30 minutes).

Also in the last month or so has been the hair twirling. I understand that hair twirling is a self-soothing behavior and not out of the norm for her age. However, she has been doing constantly and obsessively. P told me last night he thought she was pulling it out too. She has had some rages where she screams and cries and hits me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and hit me. I’ve tried talking to her, time outs, spanking, taking away priviledges & toys, giving her more attention, giving her less attention. Nothing seems to work. She is having some sort of major anxiety issues. She has become very defiant and just will not obey or listen. Many things are a major argument with her, like washing her hands and using the toilet.

The crazy thing – absolutely no issues at school. When I pick her up, she starts to act up and tantrum. I think she has held it together all day, and now it is all coming out. I understand some things like the jibberish talking is most likely related to the new baby. (she constantly talks jibberish, especially at the baby and constantly bothers him, getting in his face, taking his toys). I’ve caught her on several occasions trying to hurt the baby – squeezing his hand and foot really hard, hitting him on the back. It’s incredibly stressful and I’m so darn tired of not trusting her around him. I can’t turn my back for one second on her. I have to push and drag her away from him often because she just won’t stop her behavior or listen to me.

I’ve called to get some behavior services for the anxiety, but they can’t get her in until February!! I’ve called two other places and they both haven’t gotten back to me. This is difficult to talk about, but I don’t want my little one to be so scared and worried and stressed and I need some help with coping and I think she does as well.

5 months!!

Happy 5 months buddy!

I love this kid so darn much. I can’t imagine life without him! Right now he is eating just under 30 oz of formula a day along with half a small veg or fruit and a T of rice cereal. He loves food. He LOVES food. It’s shoveled in his mouth and he doesn’t miss a drop.
He weighs almost 16 lbs and is 94% tile for length!
He’s quick to smile.
His usual sleep schedule is a 45 min nap around 9 am, 1230ish – 245ish, a cat nap around 5:15 pm. He would sleep a couple of hours before bedtime – ie 5:00 – 7:00 pm if I let him. But I don’t. He goes down for the night anywhere between 8:00 – 9:00 and sleeps until around 5:30-6:00ish. He will sleep through the night around 4 nights out of seven. Then he is up once to eat for two days, then he is up twice (or more) for one day until the cycle repeats himself. The more places I take him in the evenings, the more tired he becomes and the better he sleeps.
He doesn’t cry much.
He lays in his crib and “talks”. Complains really, until someone comes in (meaning me). He gets so excited when he comes in that he kicks around like crazy and grins.
I put him in the same position in the crib each night swaddled and I find when he wakes up he usually has worked very hard to get his hands loose and is in a completely different position; often with his foot stuck between the slats.
He has been rolling over since birth but can do it with ease now.
He loves to snuggle and sleep on your lap.
Not a big fan of pacifiers.
Fusses and chews on his hand often. Still doesn’t have enough hand control to get toys in his mouth (I think his sister did by this age).
LOVES to stand and is very, very good at it. Needs little support.
Almost too large for the carseat.

Life has been hectic

So I will catch up later. But here are some pics of the kidlets.

Friday Night Leftovers

This week my husband has been out of town Monday-Friday. Last week Wednesday-Thursday. The week prior Tuesday-Thursday. After next week, he is gone on a 10 day backpacking trip. Things have been rough is what I'm saying. He usually doesn't get home that early, but he did drop off. Drop off AND pick up are a LOT. For ME anyway.

We've had a mouse epidemic at work. It's an old building and they run around and poop on my desk and in my overhead bins. I put all of my food in my car ever evening. It has become cooler here and this is the time they start nesting. Good times. Need to get some traps in my basement too.

Baby is so much fun! He rolls over like crazy, talks and coos and yaps. I started him on food a little bit early. He screamed the first time but has taken to it very well now. He kicks his legs while he is being fed out of excitement. Last night he loved rice cereal and squash.

I'm going to take a week off and visit my mom. With the kids of course. Then I am going to have two days to declutter this house. It's a disaster. Too small kids clothes, worn out underwear and socks, piles of paper. That's not even the garage or basement. We;ve decided we are going to get ready to move to a different house. One with a first or second floor laundry and a second full bathroom would be fabulous!

V is addicted to Shrek. My husband bought her the entire four DVD set for her birthday. Ugh. Too much.

For more Friday Night Leftovers visit Danifred: At: http://sippycupsarenotforstarbucks.blogspot.com/

Pictures from a weekend

We stayed home this weekend. THe baby didn't let me get tons of great sleep. We had some friends over to play games and eat ribs. Their daughter and our daughter trashed the playroom. I tried the baby on some rice cereal which ended in him screaming and hating it. I was so surprised! The weather was crummy and humid. Blah! I've been playing around on Instagram. It's kind of fun.