Friday Night Leftovers

Friday Night Leftovers

• I’ve wanted to write so many times. Life is completely chaotic. My husband worked last Sunday and wasn’t home before 12:30 am the rest of the week. Completely crazy.
• We closed on the house last Wednesday and spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday taping and painting mostly. I despite painting. It makes my Fibromyalgia body hurt and the clean up and touch up is annoying. I would like to paint the entire house but we are going with just the most needed (and hated) rooms. V’s room will be light purple, Benny’s room is “Little Boy Blue”, the bathroom is “Irish Cream”, and our bedroom is going to be “Mercer Blue”.
• I need a theme for a kids’ bathroom (they will have their own bathroom!!) that has black countertop and peachy-sand color walls. P was thinking a beach theme.
• B is starting to crawl. He inched forward with his knee a few paces yesterday. I bawled. When did he get so old?
• Last week was rough. Besides the closing on the new house, B had to go to Urgent Care with croup, an ear infection, and a inflamed throat. Poor little guy. I was home with him Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday morning. He was a handful and very needy. Thursday-Friday I was off for the new house stuff. This week at work has made up for it.
• Michigan has had a crazy weather week. 55 degrees last Saturday, then snow, then more rain and 55 degrees, now cold and more snow. Seriously?

IPhone Camera Dump

Of course they are all on my phone because who has time to reach for a camera these days?

Yummy high chair. Still no teeth!!!

Daddy made V a fort.

We bought a new house. This is the view from the great room window. We are getting ready to put our house on the market and move the chaos to a new place.

Christmas sleeper with Grandma.

We went to the McDonald's playplace to get out of the house.

Baby will not sit up, but wants to walk. Seriously.

Santa Visit

I belong to a community group that hosts a children's Holiday Party each year. I don't do much with the group any more; it's morphed from stay-at-home moms with young children to older retired ladies. (I wish I could find a great mom's group that meets in the evenings). But I like the Holiday Party. Great time with Santa. V jumped up right on his lap this year and Benny just wasn't too sure.

*Disclaimer -This is the way her hair is looking since she has this chronic twisting problem and has broke it all off. I, in no universe would ever cut it that short.

Post-surgery

First was post-partum, now is post-surgery (four to be exact). Have two more to go - one major, one minor. no one things i look different except my old boss and my doctors. But I do.

Before:

Current after: ( I have on no eye makeup and I obviously have some extra chin skin, yuck).

post partum update

I’ve had some major bouts of depression in my life. Although it is under control, it has been a cross to bear since I was 19. In the past 8 or so years it has evolved more into an anxiety disorder. Panic attacks, hours of crying, obsessing worrying thoughts. I never am sure what exactly will set me off. The really bad episodes are once or twice a year. But I deal with it quite well in my opinion. Since I have the kids I really don’t have much time for it and I don’t want to set a bad example for them. They deserve calm mom. When V was born I was watched fairly closely for PPD. I had four days of baby blues approximately a week after she was born. Just a lot of crying and emotions. I always wanted to talk care of her, there was no disinterest. I think it was mostly the result of hormones, a difficult delivery, and a rough Csection recovery. It passed. With the 2nd, it’s been more insidious. Panic attacks here and there over COMPLETE NONSENSE THINGS. An inability to concentrate, chronic worry, obsessive worry. Things that two days later, I wonder what the HELL I was thinking! I went to talk someone and they felt it was Postpartum anxiety. They gave me some benzo’s which I am reluctant to take, but I take a ¼ of one (I would not be able to function on a whole dose!) and it helps clear the chest tightness and rests my mind.

I think I’m doing really well coping with it. It is definitely hormone related because my life is good! My husband is understanding and supportive. I always have to remember that this (meaning a rough time) will pass.

Here is a picture of the little man. He wants to move so badly. He lurched that exersaucer across the kitchen floor to get to me. He thought he was pretty clever too 

Smile

This was just after eating prunes for the first time. It's cold and dreary and dark out. So time for a smile ;)

Issues

V was a very good natured baby. She liked to snuggle, rarely cried, and slept through the night starting at 4 weeks. Early toddlerhood she was quite good natured as well and routinely slept until 8ish on weekends. My big concern at this time is that she would bite, usually only me. Around 2.5 years she became a bit more outspoken and active and since she turned four there have been some concerns.

She has been having some weird anxieties after she turned three. She is terrified of animals, especially dogs. A dog will be walking on a leash on the opposite side of the street from her and she will “freak out”, crying and whining. A trip to the zoo when she was three was a source of stress and anxiety for her. For the last month she has been waking up early crying and afraid of the dark. She has multiple nightlight sources in her room, so it really isn’t that dark. You also have to stay in her room with her until she falls asleep (which can take upwards of 30 minutes).

Also in the last month or so has been the hair twirling. I understand that hair twirling is a self-soothing behavior and not out of the norm for her age. However, she has been doing constantly and obsessively. P told me last night he thought she was pulling it out too. She has had some rages where she screams and cries and hits me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and hit me. I’ve tried talking to her, time outs, spanking, taking away priviledges & toys, giving her more attention, giving her less attention. Nothing seems to work. She is having some sort of major anxiety issues. She has become very defiant and just will not obey or listen. Many things are a major argument with her, like washing her hands and using the toilet.

The crazy thing – absolutely no issues at school. When I pick her up, she starts to act up and tantrum. I think she has held it together all day, and now it is all coming out. I understand some things like the jibberish talking is most likely related to the new baby. (she constantly talks jibberish, especially at the baby and constantly bothers him, getting in his face, taking his toys). I’ve caught her on several occasions trying to hurt the baby – squeezing his hand and foot really hard, hitting him on the back. It’s incredibly stressful and I’m so darn tired of not trusting her around him. I can’t turn my back for one second on her. I have to push and drag her away from him often because she just won’t stop her behavior or listen to me.

I’ve called to get some behavior services for the anxiety, but they can’t get her in until February!! I’ve called two other places and they both haven’t gotten back to me. This is difficult to talk about, but I don’t want my little one to be so scared and worried and stressed and I need some help with coping and I think she does as well.