Thursday, August 21, 2008

Baby Blues strikes its evil head

I haven't written because I have been insanely busy as well as teary. It's been kind of a tough week. Monday I became 'teary'. Tuesday I was weepy. Wednesday I cried in several episodes, thankfully not all day. My mother in law came Tuesday and I had her do the late feedings (9:30, 12:30 a.m.) and went to bed by 9:00. Vi was kind of cranky so we didn't get much sleep. Plus I developed terrible diarrhea that I was kind of concerned about. I spent the day on the phone crying - talking to the OB nurse, then my psychiatrist. I am still on an SSRI ( I took during the pregnancy) and started taking a small of a benzodiapine prescribed to me prior to the pregnancy for panic attacks. Hopefully this helps. I slept well last night which certainly helped. I am reaching out for help and trying to find it.

Depression/Anxiety really stink and have difficult for me for years. This was a concern even prior to the pregnancy. Thankfully, it seems different that the past episodes, less long term crying (4+ hours), still wanting to take care and enjoy taking care of Vi, less feelings of hopeless.

I've never written about my depressions before. I keep them under good control in my everyday life, but something out of the norm happens, it tends to rear its ugly head.

I so want to get through this to get into a routine for my family and take good care of Vi and P.

1 comment:

Julie said...

I know what you mean about the history of depression/anxiety and the concern about what would happen with a pregnancy and post-pardum. You're doing great! And, it's totally normal to be emotional through the first 6-8 weeks following baby's arrival. I was crying so much between 2-6 weeks following Cooper's arrival - it's the hormones leaving the body.

Hang in there - it does calm down. But if it doesn't, you know how to address it which is an advantage of having a history - so many mommies don't and they don't know what it can feel like (better) once help is received (therapy, meds, etc) - many are too afraid to go down that route but we know better since we've BTDT. Hugs!