I haven't written because I have been insanely busy as well as teary. It's been kind of a tough week. Monday I became 'teary'. Tuesday I was weepy. Wednesday I cried in several episodes, thankfully not all day. My mother in law came Tuesday and I had her do the late feedings (9:30, 12:30 a.m.) and went to bed by 9:00. Vi was kind of cranky so we didn't get much sleep. Plus I developed terrible diarrhea that I was kind of concerned about. I spent the day on the phone crying - talking to the OB nurse, then my psychiatrist. I am still on an SSRI ( I took during the pregnancy) and started taking a small of a benzodiapine prescribed to me prior to the pregnancy for panic attacks. Hopefully this helps. I slept well last night which certainly helped. I am reaching out for help and trying to find it.
Depression/Anxiety really stink and have difficult for me for years. This was a concern even prior to the pregnancy. Thankfully, it seems different that the past episodes, less long term crying (4+ hours), still wanting to take care and enjoy taking care of Vi, less feelings of hopeless.
I've never written about my depressions before. I keep them under good control in my everyday life, but something out of the norm happens, it tends to rear its ugly head.
I so want to get through this to get into a routine for my family and take good care of Vi and P.